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Subject: One too many shots to the head . . . . Author: Designated Hitter [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 20:22:42 03/06/02 Wed In reply to: Ares 's message, "United States Title" on 15:39:37 03/06/02 Wed (Scene: Later that night, at the same WCHW house-show which previously aired Ares’ promo, the fans have just finished watching a match between two up and coming WCHW farm talents. The crowd, itching for some excitement, are returning to their seats.) (Suddenly, the lights go out and the song “Right Now” by Van Halen starts up with its solitary piano. With each hard piano note, a pair of small-scale spotlights, one spotlight on either side of the entrance way, sends its beam straight up like a pillar of light.) (The crowd cheers somewhat hesitantly as they are not familiar with this newcomer.) (With each subsequent hard piano note illuminates another such pair of opposing spotlights, working their way inward, toward the entrance way. At the crescendo of the intro, on the final hard piano note, the spotlights go out, a loud bang is heard, and sparkling pyrotechnics erupt from both sides of the entrance way.) (DH emerges from the entrance way holding aloft his red Louisville Slugger in one hand, and a canvas bag in the other. As he makes his way to the ring, he stops and takes a few horizontal “swipes” with his bat at the same time the guitar in the song hits its first rip into the melody of the piano. He makes his way to the ring, drops the bag to the mat, and pulls out a microphone from his back pocket.) DH: “WCHW fans . . . I was sitting at the WCHW Public Relations table just out front signing some autographs and basically pitching the fed to the media, when I hear some punk named Ares pitch his most recent promo. I mean, here I am telling the media that the WCHW is a great fed which prides itself on its professionalism, when all of a sudden Ares appears on the nearby monitors publicly displaying his profound mastery of the English language. Imagine how hard it was to explain that to the media!! Basically, I just told them all that this guy was just brought in from a foreign country and the only English he learned was in New York City subways!!!” (The crowd laughs.) DH: “But, enough joking aside. Ares . . . do us all a biiiiiig favor . . . . the next time you want to come out of your shed and fill our ears with your limited vocabulary, reach over, grab that shovel that every shed has, and hit yourself in the head with it!!! But, make sure to do it hard enough to knock yourself out because, quite frankly, we don’t want to hear your crap anymore than we have to!” (The crowd cheers.) DH: “Ares, I may or may not walk out of Rebirth with two titles around my waist . . . . but I will certainly give it my best shot! And you can be damn sure that you will NOT be the one who stops me from my goal! Wait . . . I guess I had better rephrase what I just said so you can understand it . . . “ (DH pauses.) DH: “WCHW fans, plug up your children’s ears and forgive me for what I am about to do . . . “ (DH takes a deep breath . . . ) DH: “Ares . . . .shit man, I might not win both dem fucking titles at Rebirth, but I just fucking might walk out with both dem fuckers around my waist! I’ll fucking give it my best fucking shot and you can be damned sure that you will not fucking be the one who stops me from getting the shit I want!” (DH sighs.) DH: “Fans, I’m sorry I had to do that, but if I want to communicate with my opponents, sometimes I have to speak their language! But, not to fear . . . I have brought Ares a gift to try and help him!!!” (DH picks up the bag and reaches in. He pulls out a book. The camera zooms in on the instantly recognizable red cover of Webster’s Dictionary.) DH: “Ares, this is a Dictionary! It has all kinds of good words in it other than fuck, shit, crap, and all the other terms you toss about. Try using it sometime!” (The crowd cheers and laughs as DH lays the book down in the middle of the ring. He rolls out under the ropes and heads toward the back.) [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> [> Subject: DH Author: Ares [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:29:07 03/07/02 Thu Once again the screen goes black, and then we see a limo pull up. Out of the limo steps the soon to be United States Champ Ares. Ares: Well, I want to first start off by telling the world that contrary to popular belief, I only know cus words. And it really doesn't matter what I say here because all of the action is going to happen in the ring, and I could care less what Designated Hitter has to say. If I want to come out here and say swear after swear, then I will do that, and noone will stop me from doing it. As for the match, it looks like it is just going to be a regular one on one match, cause we haven't heard anything from Mr. Hollywood. And as I am on the subject of that puss bag, I don't really care if he shows up or not. It will be his death. Now as for you DH you might want to stick with sitting in the stands and scouting the Cincinnati Reds. Cause just like the Cincinnati Reds when all is said and done you will be on the bottom looking up. Yeah so what they won a PRESEASON double header, that means nothing once the season starts. And just like the Reds you are going to be wondering you have so much talent and you still suck. And now that I look at the card and see that this is a Stairway to Hell ladder match, you stand no chance, cause once I climb up that ladder and grab the barb wire, that is when the match is gonna start to get interesting, and that is when you are going to wish that you were back at the Reds preseason game wondering, hoping, wishing, DREAMING. So,as you can see I don't need that Webster's Dictionary, my speech is quite alright without it. Come Rebirth, you will learn that you have enraged the wrong man and like I have been saying all along you being put into this match is just the commisioner handing you your death certificate. The only thing missing is my signature once I am done with you. Ares pushes the camera man out of his face and gets back into the limo. The limo is then seen racing off. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: What's in a name . . . . Author: Designated Hitter [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 21:07:17 03/07/02 Thu (Scene: The camera fades in to show DH just finishing a workout in the WCHW weight room. He sees the camera man and smiles.) DH: “Hey, come on over. I’ve been thinking and I’ve got some more things to say to this Ares guy. Follow me.” (The camera man follows DH into the locker room. As he is walking toward his locker, he passes a locker with the name ‘Ares’ on it. DH smiles and heads immediately to his locker. DH pulls out a gym bag from his locker and unzips it. He reaches in to pull something out but stops just before he pulls it out.) DH: “So, last night I was thinking that maybe I was a little harsh on my opponent, Ares. I mean, he did show me and the rest of the WCHW that he can cut a promo without using the swear words. Now, if we can only get him to take a breath during one of his tirades . . . . but I digress.” (DH drops the item back in the bag without showing it to anyone. He starts getting some stuff out of his locker, getting ready to leave.) DH: “So, I’m thinking that Ares doesn’t need that dictionary I gave to him. And I was left wondering what else I could do to help the guy out. First, I thought that I’d try and help him find a better place to live. I mean, a shed is no place for a wrestler of his obvious prowess and skill . . . “ (DH laughs to himself.) DH: “Then I thought that I’d get him a large suitcase so that he could pack around that tremendous ego of his whenever the WCHW went on tour. I’m talking a BIG suitcase. One large enough for his ego and all the empty threats he tosses around. Wait. If they’re empty threats, would that mean they don’t take up any space?!?! Interesting paradox there!” (DH pauses in contemplation for a brief second.) DH: “But then I hit on the perfect gifts to give him! First, I thought of his name. What does it mean, exactly . . . . Ares, the Greek deity of war. It just doesn’t fit. So, I decided to give him this . . . “ (DH reaches in a pulls out the “G” volume of the Encyclopedia Britannica.) DH: “I looked up Greek Mythos in this volume. And, I think I’ve found some better names for you, Ares. I mean calling yourself the god of war without being through any is like me calling myself the WCHW Champion without ever having the belt. But, again, I digress.” (DH opens the book.) DH: “So, I found three good replacement names for you, Ares. First, there’s Windbag, the deity of blowhards! That kind of fits. Second, there is Jobber, the deity of crappy wrestlers. I don’t know about that name . . . you might have to wait until after our matches before you can use that one. Finally, and this I think is the best because it is soooo close to the name you picked for yourself, there is Arse. What is Arse the deity of you ask? Why he isn’t a deity at all. Arse is what I’m going to kick on you when we step into the ring at Rebirth!!” (DH snaps the book shut, walks over and sets it down near Ares’ locker, then returns to his own locker. He finishes packing and then starts to head out.) DH: “Arse, it doesn’t matter what kind of match you and I are in . . . Stairway to Hell, Stairway to Heaven, Stairway to the 32nd floor of the Sears Tower! In any event, it has now become my personal vendetta to shut you up. See you at the yard, meat! Oops, I mean, Arse!” (The camera fades to red with black pinstripes.) [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: What's in a name . . . . Author: Ares [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:16:53 03/08/02 Fri As we are watching the ring we see that there are two jobbers fighting in the center. The crowd is just sitting there waiting for a good match to start. All of a sudden the crowd erupts and Ares walks out of the back. Ares walks up to the ring, and the two wrestlers attack him for interfering in their match. Ares just laugh to himself, and then one at a time throws the two jobbers out of the ring. Ares grabs a mic and begins to talk. Ares: Ok, so I am trying to figure out what this guy DH is all about. First of all he comes out here and says that I need Webster's Dictionary. So I needed to come out here and show him that I really did not need that dictionary that he gave me. Then he comes out here and says that my name does not fit me. So he goes and tries to think of a new name for me. Well, he is going to learn that he can sit in the back and talk until he is blue in the face, but it is not going to make any difference. When it comes to Rebirth I will show him that he talks to much. I will make it so that he doesn't sit back in the locker room and ramble about nothing ever again. Once that bell rings DH will learn that the talking is over and that it is time to prove yourself. So at Rebirth we will see who is the better wrestler. And I already know that it is me. And as for him talking about my house. He needs to realize thatI choose to live in that shed, and could have any house that I wanted to. The house doesn't matter, it is the training that counts. And he will learn that my training facility is top of the art. And as for him talking about my "empty" threats, well we will see how empty those threats are when they are coming down upon his head and driving him into the mat. So Designated Hitter it is getting closer and closer to the time when that bell rings and we start to go after each other. And we will soon see who is the better wrestler, and who can go sit in the back and talk all the shit that they want to because it wont matter when the title is around my waist, and you are left on the ground....the lifeless sess pool of waste that you are. Ares drops the mic and walks out of the ring. As one of the jobbers gets up Ares grabs him and punches him in the stomach and then power bombs him on the mat. Then as Ares walks away we here a silent laugh escape from his mouth. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]