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Date Posted: 21:58:55 03/24/03 Mon
Author: Matt
Subject: Re: fragment - Golden Girl (working title)
In reply to: the Lady 's message, "fragment - Golden Girl (working title)" on 21:17:55 03/23/03 Sun

I like this a lot. I really enjoy the analogy. The only thing I saw that could be something to play with is the last line. It snaps you out of the fantasy. Sort of leads you the wrong way. But then again I also see how it could be meant to show you that. Leading the reader along in a fantasy like the Golden Girl is in, but snapping the reader out of it at the end.. just as the Golden Girl will snap out of it at her end. Maybe play around with the spacing a bit. I'd love to see the first three stanzas expanded on a little bit. I'm left wanting so much more out of this little piece.


Love you dear,
little matty

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  • Re: fragment - Golden Girl (working title) -- husky, 21:14:38 03/25/03 Tue
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