I dont have a title, I just needed to write -- The Fiercest Calm

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Date Posted: 16:25:20 04/13/03 Sun
Author: Girl
Subject: I dont have a title, I just needed to write

I know it sounded lame
But it was the truth.
I dont want it to be over between us
And believe me, if we would've,
I'd have been gone in two weeks
It never lasts with me after that
I always look at him different
My feelings get so screwed up
Maybe thats why **** has never left my head
Or my heart
We never touched - at all
We didn't finish what we started, so it feels incomplete
I know it wouldn't work though
So I'm glad you're here
I love being around you
You make me feel so comfortable
You make me laugh harder than anyone ever has
Thats why when you asked to kiss me goodnight,
I had to say no
I like you too much to ruin it this fast
And that would ruin it
Trust me
Its too early
I know how I am . . .
But it was so sweet!
I couldn't believe you asked . . .
I was so impressed, I wanted to kiss you right then
I'll never forget the look on your face
My heart broke in two
I almost cried driving home
I tried to explain it to you, but I think it just sounded like an excuse
I tried to make it up to you by flirting with you a little
I held your hand for a while and we talked
I kissed your hand softly
I played with you hair and twirled it a little
You said you felt like a moron
I hugged you and told you it wasn't true
But I'd rather have us last than mess things up now
You said you agreed
But the look on your face said it all
Humiliation, depression
I wanted to cry just looking at you
When I drove off, I waved
You waved half-heartedly back, with your head down
I wanted to kick myself
But I had no idea how else I could've handled it
I'm sorry I hurt you
Someday, I'll kiss you
Some special day
At just the right time
At just the right place
I'll surprise you
It will be a turning point in our relationship
And when we get there, it will be awesome
I can't wait, but I can wait for the right time
When this relationship is past the "new" stage
It won't matter
I care about you a lot
I dont want to despise you in a few weeks!
(wink wink)
Please just wait for me . . .
I'll be ready soon

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