Re: Helping cult members - do's and don'ts -- RSQUBF discussion forum

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Date Posted: 03:14:19 06/03/04 Thu
Author: Chris
Subject: Re: Helping cult members - do's and don'ts
In reply to: Joe 's message, "Helping cult members - do's and don'ts" on 22:55:06 06/02/04 Wed

Some explanations for the "Don'ts":

* DO NOT rush into adopting a potential solution before carefully researching the cult problem.
Because it is important to understand the mechanisms behind cult mind control. Most cults employ the same methods. They are not easy to understand if you never experienced it.

* DO NOT say:"You are in a cult; you are brainwashed".
Not because this is not true, but because he or she will interpret it as an insult, and it will create hostility towards you. See also the other Don'ts about not being judgemental etc. The essence of cult mind control is that the affected persons do not notice they are controlled. And it can happen to nearly everybody.

* DO NOT give money to the member of the group.
Not out of miserliness, but because the money will only end up in the top leaders' bank account or otherwise used for the agenda of the cult and strengthen it. It will also increase the "sunken cost" feeling of the member who offered all he had to the cult. Instead, make a personal gift, something that reminds the cult member of the love and the good things in his former life in his or her family. The best gift would be something where you could spend time together, such as a holiday trip. This will often be impossible, but be inventive. Give the cult member reasons to accept the invitation.

In the case of a Christian cult, I would add the following:

* DO read the Bible until you understand the Bible better than the cult member.

* DO read articles about shepherding/discipling/covering doctrines. Understand why these doctrines are not in line with the Bible.

* DO read article about spiritual abuse in Christian "churches."

* DO lead an exemplary Christian life if you are a believer. The cult member will notice the difference between your freedom in Christ and his cult life.

* DO NOT give the member the impression that he or she reads the Bible "too much" or obeys God "too absolutely." Usually, the problem is that these people obey man more than God and the Bible, and usually, they don't really study the Bible. It they were really serious about the Bible as God's words and their position as Bible teachers, they would start to study the Bible deeply, try to learn Hebrew and Greek and read many books and comments written by our ancestors of faith such as Martin Luther. But in reality, their Bible study and reading is very superficially and shallow. Without the assistance of lectures or "questionnaires" written by their cult leaders, they are not able to study the Bible and completely helpless. Their beliefs about God and their udnerstanding of the Bible is often confusing and self-contradictory. They don't really have a firm Biblical position and are not used to check everything against the Bible. If a leader makes a statement which he claims to be spiritual, they don't check it critically against the Bible but adopt it without questioning.

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