Re: Arranged Marriages -- RSQUBF discussion forum

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, [7], 8, 9, 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 01:31:21 10/11/04 Mon
Author: Chris
Subject: Re: Arranged Marriages
In reply to: Hannah 's message, "Re: Arranged Marriages" on 23:44:04 10/10/04 Sun

I really don't understand why it is forced for people to go to weddings, especially when they don't know who's getting married!

In our chapter, we were often pushed to attend the UBF arranged weddings of other UBF members who you did not know personally. At my marriage, hundreds of people attended whom I never had seen before or whom I hardly knew, and most of them I had not invited, including Peter Chang from Bonn. We had explicitely declared that we did not want a large wedding, but my chapter leader invited hundreds of people nevertheless against our will. When I criticized this, he said he could not do anything against it, they came from themselves since they "loved me so much." In reality, he was the one who had sent out the invitations ot every chapter because chapter leaders like to brag with arranged marriages and the fact that the "raised a housechurch," and none of these people cared for me actually. After I had left UBF, none of them ever contacted me.

At the time of my marriage, the problems of Peter Chang and the Bonn chapter were not yet known to the public. But I heared from another German UBF member who left this year that he explicitely asked to NOT invite Peter Chang, the he was severely rebuked because of that and Peter Chang attended against his wish.

I know for a fact that this won't be happening for me, even though I'm a second gen and I've clearly stated this to my parents.

The son of our chapter leader said something similar to me. Meanwhile, he is completely brainwashed. If you will say something like this openly, you will be trained and "reeducated" until you are back on the party line.

Two 2nd gen members of Cologne UBF recently tried to marry. Everything was perfect, even the parents approved. The two were not known as "rebels" or anything. They knew each other a long time. But the chapter leader canceled the marriage and let them write and share "testimonies of repentance" which they did though they did not know what their real "sin" was. Of course, the problem with the marriage was that it was not arranged. I experienced a similar case in my chapter the year I left.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Yeah, our chapter is different... -- Mike K., 05:06:11 10/11/04 Mon