Author:
Eric
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Date Posted: Friday, June 11, 2021, 05:17: pm
I never would've dreamed I'd have to get my rectal temperature taken until I had an operation to have my tonsils removed. These were the days before ear thermometers and temporal scanners. The typical protocol for an adult temperature was oral 99% of the time. However, if you had any kind of face, neck, or throat surgery, they couldn't take it by mouth, and the only accurate alternative route was up the butt. I was feeling fine, but the nurse needed my temperature and told me how she'd have to take it. It caught my wife off guard as much as myself. So there I was on my left side with a digital temperature probe beeping away 2" up my asshole. I tried to look away from my wife because of the embarrassment. After it was over, the nurse noted the 99.7F temperature like it was the most normal thing in the world. My wife told me she was sorry I had to go through with that. Then she said she'd put up an argument if the nurse needed to do it again. Four hours later she returned to get another rectal reading. My wife quickly protested and asked her why my temperature had to be taken rectally. The young nurse promptly got two other thermometers and turned each on. One was an oral thermometer and she placed it under my tongue. She placed the second one in my armpit. The oral one beeped in 90 seconds.....101.9F....the nurse said "you see, the temperature is way higher because his entire jaw is inflamed from surgery." It took the armpit thermometer 5 minutes to register.....97.5F...too low and also a false reading. So up my butt she stuck the rectal probe once again. I got my rectal temperature taken 7 more times until I got to go home the next day. I was starting not to mind it as much, especially if my wife wasn't looking. It didn't hurt at all physically. The nurse was really cute, but that was the source of the embarrassment. My wife and I have joked about it over the years. Our oldest daughter is the only one that knows about it, because she's now a nurse. She says it's still common practice to take rectal temperatures for the same reasons as years past.
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