... -- The Middle of Nowhere

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Date Posted: 19:00:21 07/29/03 Tue
Author: me
Subject: ...

There was something distinctly wrong with her.

Numi sat beneath the k�sani tree in silence, heavy tail curled tightly around her toned limbs, glossy black merging into one still shadow. The massive golden leaves provided shade for her, the fifty-foot-wide trunk deeply fissured, spherical silver fruits giving off a delicate fragrance that bespoke nourishment. The hot wind rushed through the branches high and low, creating an almost fabric-like rippling sound as each leaf was caressed. The pale blue beadgrass waved brightly, tiny flowers interspersed with the strands bobbing their heads with the beat. The music flowed from the tree, and Numi could not keep with it.

It worried her. No breathing Lavanian could fail to live the bass rhythm of the k�sani when in perceiving distance. It throbbed with their heart, regulated their breath, raced through their veins and vibrated under their eyelids. Numi had rarely before ever altered from the beat, but now it was a difficult task to keep with it.

Periwinkle eyes closed, the only patch of grass in a field of shadow suddenly gone, but the pearly shells were present... claws unsheathed and dug into the rich soil, blade pressing hard against her smooth-furred shoulder. The black shivered, tension sending tiny shockwaves through her graceful form. The music was loud, too loud, too distant... strange and alien. When had Numi ever felt unnatural in such a beautiful place? She well knows her own beauty, her own worth. What had changed it suddenly? Is this transient, just a fleeting dose of oddity?

Is it permanent?

Excesses. Faults. Mistakes. Why did they suddenly loom so large, staring her straight in the face and making her stomach churn? Numi felt herself begin to lose touch, like that first time she had ever shut out all senses but one and changed her entire perception of the world. Any footing shifted, and it almost seemed physical, balance thrown askew as pearly claws dug deeper into the moist black soil, paws trembling. Breathing seemed to change, painfully alter from the music-given rhythm, and suddenly oxygen was no longer adequate. Finding herself gasping for air, Numi's pale eyes flew open, pupils dilated in slowly growing panic.

What's wrong with me!?

Transient. Everything is transient... nothing stays. Changes and a feeble memory... the entire world is in a constant state of flux for the young black, but she'd gotten used to this. So why is the total lack of stability scaring her now?

Pain slowly impinged on her thoughts, a stiff burning in her paws as she realized she'd nearly dislocated her own claws by trying to hold onto the still earth. The wind had quieted, the music had twisted, and she was still alone... unmoving. The world slowly stopped trying to tear her apart and fling her into the sky, and her breathing steadied. Shivering still plagued her muscles, moving from clenched digits up to toned limbs. Trying to focus on something, anything, a pale gaze dropped and with some ease, Numi studied a ruby-red flower at her paws, blocking everything else out. The fact that she could totally block the k�sani out was disconcerting, but she tossed the unnerved feeling aside and simply stared.

Perfection in such a tiny plant. Bugs had chipped the teardrop-shaped petals and the clover-like leaves, but all in due time. Beauty is perfection, and beauty is not perfect. The veins, barely differing shades of blue-green, ran up the stem and into the leaves, making a delicate network of striping throughout the whole plant. The petals were blood-red, velvet to the touch although she did not touch, soft and gentle. Miniscule petals bloomed from the center, where pollen should be and wasn't, making a slowly-exploding ball of red that grew in a day and then died, leaving its spirit to fertilize the earth and reincarnate.

What was she thinking? Phoenix-believer she was... crazy she was not.

Or was she?

Numi shook her head, slowly coming back to all five senses and feeling none the better. Mind supremely focused on the music within and without, she could barely follow it... walking the fine edge of balance, a ridge from which a fall would be disastrous... She shook her head again, a jerky motion. Maybe she really was insane. Did non-striped Korats ever lose it, she wondered? Was there any way to shake this feeling of surreality and being alien? She'd never lost touch this badly with the music before... and music was a Lavanian's life. Its blood and heart and rhythm, its very soul. Lose it and you die. No either-or.

"I've felt it too."

The voice is light but dark, an airy shadow formed into sound, with a sharp edge and a deep sadness weakening its power. Numi's sleek muzzle slowly turned, unaware of who could've slipped up so quietly on her, she who had honed senses to a razor keenness, she who had... but ah. Of course.

Akartis bowed his head as he settled next to the black, bony gauntness almost frightening in its frailty. Scars traced his dust-cream pelt, nicked his silver blade and black claws, and made the lanky male seem older than his years. After all, the two were about the same age, Akartis perhaps a year older at most. Pale violet-grey eyes looked into beadgrass-blue ones with soft, sad understanding, and Numi in turn bowed her own head. Kindred spirits were rare. But... wait. Eyes flickered upwards, locking on the thin male. "Felt...?" she mumbled, beautiful face warped in confusion. The tan nodded, taking up her curled position himself, longer tail looping almost twice about his lean haunches. "Felt the pain of distance... the feel of being an alien in my own home."

Numi frowned, a half-hearted twitch of her muzzle. "You're a Terolian... or were." A shrug of bony shoulders, "I was born here and I live here now. What difference does it make?" The black sighed, hunching her shoulders and trying to disappear within her shadowy self. Akartis could offer no comfort, having the strength within himself to survive... but nothing more. A harsh mistress, Terole, but harsher her sister, Lavana. Akartis was constantly surprised at how he managed to cheat death every day. Numi... No telepathy; thoughts only. No link between the two... there never was... probably never would be. Strangers of the same heart.

Let me ease your pain.

Oh, for someone to say that. Numi's muzzle angled upwards, pale eyes locking onto the massive tree under which she still sits, quivering. The utter solidity was reassuring, but as she remembered the music, she realized her body has not conformed to what everyone else hears. Never one for the mass beliefs, Numi, but this lack of a soul-song scared her. Cocking an ear and concentrating, she realized Akartis' skinny frame hadn't responded to the pervasive beat either.

Where is my brother? Where is my father?

Why don't I have a mother? Or a sister?

Eyes half-lidded and glazed over, Numi falling still and breathing silencing. Akartis knew it was easier to just not breathe sometimes, to let your body work until it really needed to inhale... the expansion of lungs and diaphragm difficult and tedious, too much work to do often. If the heart were a voluntary muscle, Akartis knew he would surely die. But he felt so tired, unable to feel the hectic panic in which the black was immersed, the hazy, prickly energy that enveloped her and gave her the energy to cling to the earth and dive within herself. His own gaunt frame was nigh-lifeless, a dust-furred puppet of his own faltering will. A slender silver tailblade hit the grass with what seemed a bone-shattering thud, nonexistent shockwaves tearing through the earth and rattling his teeth.

Numi didn't move at the soft sound of blade against grass, vision hazing over as she neglected to blink or breathe.

A sudden palpitation within both Korats' hearts brought them from the brink of collapsing, one way or the other. Pale gazes met, startled.

...why don't I have a sister?
I am your sister...
...why don't I have a mother?
I am your mother...

Your brother is here...
Your father is here...

Numi jerked, a minor twitch sending ripples down her glossy pelt. Her head bent, chin lowering to rest against her deep chest, and for a moment she simply breathed. The music was no long wild and alien, but a steady heartbeat that felt natural again. She felt calm spreading through her veins as her body adjusted itself with absolute accuracy to the earthy music that permeated every inch of her being.

Akartis felt strength rising from the music as his body also adjusted to it, heart and lungs altering. The process of inhaling and exhaling was no longer so arduous. Gentle power, his by right of birth and creed, flowed with his blood and spread to his extremities. His lean frame no longer appeared so frail, and the weakness was gone from his eyes... but the darkness remained. It would always remain.

Pale gazes met, simple understanding in both. With only a simultaneous nod, the two Korats rose and began walking in opposite directions. It only took a few moments for both to disappear.

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