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Subject: money

Author:
A Miah

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Date Posted: 10:03:02 05/31/02 Fri
Author Host/IP: async9-15.nas.onetel.net.uk/212.67.111.9

Assalaamu alaikum,

Dear Sister,
I hope that you are able to give me some advise. I have been married nearly four years and have no children. I worked full time up until a month ago, it was a very good job but there was no job satisfaction. For the length of the marriage I have paid for all household items including utilities and mortgage. My husband does not contribute and I have never asked him to do so, his money mostly goes to meet his family's needs.

When I told my husband I applied for a teaching job he was not happy, because it is less money. He says that I should work harder for our future, and save money so that we can go visit his family and build a future for our selves

He does not believe me when I say that I am not able to save very much money and I give him reasons and I have even shown my bank statements but still he brings this up all the time. I am not a vain person and spend very little money on my self, I do not waste money, if I did I could understand why he harrasses every other month.

When I tell him what the husbands rights are and what a wifes rights are under islam he says nothing or says that other people's wife can save money, buy new cars and they have children and less money so why cant I

I do not understand why he mistrusts me so much or why he says such things to me. I am begining to think that he married me for economic reasons. Whats worse is that even his family ask him ("hasn't she got any money"). Two weeks after I started working from home, he quit his job.

I am working from home at the moment, I have found ways to supplement my income so that I can manage the bills.

I really do not know, what to do or how to act with him. This has gone on for 3 years, I feel very hurt and do not know who to turn to, or what to say.

please can you help

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[> Subject: Re: money

Author:
Laila Nasheeba
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Date Posted: 12:32:57 05/31/02 Fri
Author Host/IP: dhcp024-210-245-129.woh.rr.com/24.210.245.129

As Salaamu Alaikoum,

Praise be to Allah.

Allah has defined the roles of men and women in Islam. It is the role of man to provide and maintain his family. It is the role of the woman to guard in her husband's absense that which he would have her to guard.

No woman can be made to work. This is the role of a man. Any man who can not do his duties as defined by Allah thus gives his wife the right to seek a divorce against him.

Tell your husband to either do his role as a man as defined by Allah or you will seek your rights to a divorce and find a man who has no problem doing his job.

I suggest you and your husband go and listen to the taped lectures on our site by Imam Ibrahim on the Rights of husband and wife. You can hear these tapes by going to this link:

http://laila.aresworld.net/lectures.html

AND ALLAH KNOWS BEST

Laila Nasheeba