| Subject: A child is born |
Author:
Cricket
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Date Posted: 01:53:27 01/30/02 Wed
It has been a long time since Ive written in a journal.
My old one is long lost.
I start this one now, that someday, my Son, might read it, and understand at least one parent, a little better.
He was born On January 25th. He has dark hair, and dark blue eyes. I cannot say he looks like either of us..nor unlike either of us. He is..beautiful. I named him Trevor, as I was supposed to.
I think of Willow alot these past few days..and I have come to understand that she was a pure soul, and that heaven was the place for her..not in my arms. Fate has given me a son to hold instead. Strange, to think myself someones mother..but as I look down into his small face..I have never felt such a bond. I care not if he is demon inside. I care not if he will come to his fate early. I only hope he remembers me..and that he knows, that I loved him from the first moment of his birth. I dont think I have ever so easily, or readily loved anyone. I can do nothing but, love him though..he is my child, as much as he is Hells.
We stay at the roost, still in the attic room..and Indigo is always there to see to us. She coos and coddles Trevor as if he were her charge, and perhaps he is. I know that without Indigo, the birth would have been frightening.
I have not seen, nor heard, nor felt Trevor since that day in the snow..nor do I know if he will ever be back. I almost hope he does not come..though I fear, in 8 months, he will appear and want his son. Im not at all sure I can do that..but I am clear on what fate has in store for him..and Ill not deny my son his birthright.
Majidah is gone often, but at least she is near, and I count my blessings for her friendship. She is still, after all this time..my Tribe.
Jaeger, I fear is dead, perhaps killed in some street brawl, or dice game gone bad. I have heard no rumors, nor has Indigo, but we do not expect him back. I have sorrow for that.
Indigo has a beau now, she says his name is Sir Richard. Ive met him once..and while he appears to be a good and chivalrous man..I do hope the girl is careful. I know all too well how men can twist things around..as well as your heart. She seems happy though, and that is all that matters.
Ciros ghost remains quiet, and for that I am very glad. I do not think I could handle his hauntings anymore. It is hard to grasp that he is dead..and that I was unable to help him return to life..but it is a relief as well..to know he will never leave me again. This was, the last time.
If ever his soul comes to me again..I will refuse to listen..and I will bid him leave me for the rest of my days. There is plenty of time after my death, to haunt me then.
I do not think there will be any other men in my life now. I have nothing more to give, and I am just very weary of matters of the heart. Funny, that Majidah now seems to be infatuated with the Baron Fulk. It is quite the twist, to find myself as she was a few years ago.
Trevor is waking, wanting to be fed..and Indigo is baking..I can smell the bread all the way up here. I am sure she will soon appear with slices of bread and jam and a cup of hot tea. She takes very good care of me.
I will write more later.
~Cricket~
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