Son and Shadow -- Crickets Journal

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Subject: Son and Shadow

Author:
Cricket

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Date Posted: 07:52:39 01/18/04 Sun

It is Winter now. Snow and ice are companions only to mud and wind. Khaless and Trevor have been gone for some time now. Rum Hill is empty and quiet except for the thumpings of Mantis in the attic above as he trains.
I do not go up there anymore. It serves me no purpose to be bruised for days afterward, and this with no answer to my questions. I know only that trouble follows him as closely as the village below, and that it was his good fortune and my ill luck that he spotted me a few weeks ago.
I stay that he will not follow.
Rose keeps her distance from the attic, and me as well. I do not really blame the girl, and I find no fault in her service. Still..I recall the nights when Indigo, quiet as a mouse, would sneak in and beg a story in the dark, and I, begrudgingly would comply. I never told her that it did me well, and kept the voices at bay in the wee hours of morning. Perhaps she knew that anyway.
I constantly think I hear the boy in the house. His feet running down a back hall, or his distant shout. I have even found myself in his room after such an instance, feeling empty as I spy his made up cot. I know twas the best to send him with Khaless, but that thought does little to soothe the ache of missing them both.
You would think, that after so many losses and so many deaths, I would not pine so much now, yet the loss never eases, and the memories do not fade. I can see my sons face as clearly as I can Shinjo's from years ago. I can see Roses face as clearly as I can recall Cat's. Strange isnt it...how years can do so little to erase these things.
I write now only for lack of anything else to keep my mind or hands busy. The same is the reason I have begun to do a bit of thieving in the night. Hours stretch so damned endlessy, time seems a tangible thing, and the future seems so very far away.
Little more do I have to say. My pen falls ominously still as I think. Tomorrow. Perhaps tomorrow.
~C~

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