Please help! Very urgent & in crisis! -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject: Please help! Very urgent & in crisis!

Author:
Daisy75

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Date Posted: 04/ 8/09 12:40pm

I am 33 years old and single. I recently got pregnant by a man I was seeing casually after one very stupid night of no protection. He has offered no emotional or financial help at all. His first suggestion of course was abortion. He neither offered a ride or any kind of financial assistance with that either. I think people forget abortions are not free either. I think he is a despicable person and hope I never have to speak to him again.

I had an abortion when I was 18 years old, and the years of guilt, shame and regret have been awful. I just don't want to do it again. My mother sent me an e-mail the other day telling me what an idiot I am for getting into this situation and that I cannot expect any help from family. This is not unusual, my family has never been close and is very dysfunctional. My mother left me when I was 17 and my father is an alcoholic.

I went to a pro-life pregnancy center, and I know that they care, but other then sending me to Medicaid, giving me pre-natal vitamins and an ultrasound, they have offered me no help in how I am going to raise this baby. To make matters worse, I am currently not working (my boss of 15 years retired a month ago) and about to be evicted from my apartment as I am almost 2 months past due. I have no one to stay with, a shelter is basically my only option unless I find a job asap.

I met last week with a woman from an adoption agency. Again, although I know she sympathized, she said she could not work with me on the living situation. It's illegal in my state (may be everywhere I am not sure) for agencies to help a birth mom financially. A family can offer a "gift" of up to $5000 but it can take months to get the process going and in the meantime I have no where to go. I have looked into every possible option I can find and feel like I just keep hitting brick walls. I mean an adoption agency turning someone away? I sure have never seen that on all the lovey dovey made for tv movies.

I am trying to do what is right in my heart, but how can I when I have no support and no where to live? Does anyone have any advice? I will take anything, because at this point I feel like I will have to go on Friday and spend my very last money from savings to terminate because I have no where else to turn.

I hate myself for getting into this situation.

Thank you for listening.

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[> Subject: Re: Please help! Very urgent & in crisis!

Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 04/ 8/09 9:28pm

Daisy,

There is help available. You may have to do some looking. See if there is another crisis pregnancy agency in your area. Check and see if there is a place you can stay. Can you stay at a women's center, or a gospel rescue mission or something? You should be able to get things like WIC, too. You need to find someone who will do more looking. Even talk to someone different at the agency where you went. Also see if you can get food from the food bank. Maybe they have some, and they will help you. Don't leave any stone unturned.

If you don't want an abortion, don't have one!

As for your family, I'm sorry they are so unsupportive, but ask around. Maybe someone in the family will be willing to help you. At the very least, someone should be willing to let you crash on the couch at night.

We will keep you in our hearts and minds. Please let us know what your specific needs and situation are. There has to be an answer. As a last resort, go to a local church and ask if you may sleep on the pew. Ask around. The pastor should also be willing to help you.

Praying that God will provide for your needs,
Pat