Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 06/29/09 12:29pm
Hi Tatiana,
I'm glad you found this site! There is a lot of support available for you. Your mixed feelings and fears are certainly understandable, but there is hope!
Working backwards in order of priority, the good news is you don't have to have an abortion. You expressed that your heart and conscience already know that it isn't an acceptable option for you, and I think God has given you wisdom there.
Regardless of what family, friends or schoolmates think or say, that's a good starting point in making the best of this situation.
Secondly, I can imagine your parents weigh most heavily for you. While it may well be the case that they are disappointed and concerned for you (they wouldn't be parents if they weren't, right?) it's also the case that they probably love you a lot more than you realize, and those temporary feelings will fade and not cause them to reject you. Be patient with them when you tell them the news, and give them some time to process. So many young women face that mountain; you're definitely not alone.
Once they have accepted that you are pregnant and don't wish to have an abortion, you can work together as a team in navigating the next steps.
It sounds like you may really want to explore adoption. This is so often a win/win option. You will not have to give up the rest of your childhood by taking on motherhood too early, and you place the gift of a lifetime in the arms of another couple who dearly wants a child. And most importantly, the little human being growing inside of you will be given his or her chance at life.
I don't think anyone would try to tell you that there is an easy option at this point. But abortion definitely complicates and deepens the trouble and pain, whereas accepting the results of your and the biological father's actions and looking for the best case scenario at this point, with peace, can begin the road not just to healing, but an experience that you will be richer for at the end.
Abortion leaves emptiness and death for the woman and her baby, but even temporarily difficult experiences in our lives, such as having a baby long before you'd planned to and having to navigate that, can bring beauty and growth when brought to the light and managed with integrity.
Lastly - don't hesitate to pray! The One who made you, loves you, and made and loves the little human being inside you, knows exactly what you need right now, and He knows all your fears. He knows you even better than you know yourself. And Jesus is bigger than even the most daunting earthly circumstances, and His grace is sufficient each day to lead us through them.
Please feel very welcome here, and post whatever you want. You will be unconditionally accepted and listened to, and wherever there is an opportunity for us to provide resources and loving counsel we will seek to do so!
With Kindness,
Heather
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