Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 10/29/07 9:40pm
Hi, Samantha,
First, I would like to try to address some of your conclusions. You say you couldn't have an abortion. If you don't want an abortion, don't have one! Feeling the way you do, it would be devastating. Don't assume that having an abortion is "what's best". It's definitely not. It is dangerous, and it could disable or even kill you. And you have a baby who is depending on you for your protection. Please protect your baby!
You're right that most people aren't ready to begin with. That's why we are pregnant for nine months. It gives us time to prepare.
You have obviously bonded with your baby. What would it do to you emotionally and spiritually for you to harm your baby now?
Obviously, you have some people pressuring you, and that's wrong. Once you make your decision and announce it firmly, it might take a little bit, but people will accept it because they have to. I realize your mom wants to be supportive, but honestly, for her to suggest that she will support you no matter what you decide, is really, to my mind, a form of abandonment, and if I were in your shoes, I'd say so! That's her grandchild you are carrying!
As for your boyfriend and his financial issues, the best thing to do, I think, is to get in touch with a crisis pregnancy agency. They can help you with financial issues, find you resources, help you plan. You can't really plan for the financial issues in a sense, because things never stay the same. We thought we would always be comfortable, and for quite a few years, we were, and then we went through quite a few years of real hardship. But now we're back to making good money, at least for now. So the more thing stay the same, the more they change. Your boyfriend needs to start thinking seriously about how he will provide for both of you. But with the help of a crisis pregnancy agency, you'd be surprised what you can accomplish. You're both a lot stronger than you think.
Don't feel you have to tell your doctor anything. Let this settle in your own mind. Is he also suggesting abortion? I think it is despicable the way they pressure women to make such a momentous decision so quickly. By "they" I mean medical personnel, and it doesn't just include doctors.
You don't have to think about adoption right now. If that is the right choice for you, you will know it later. Most women keep their babies, and you can do splendidly if you work at it. And you can still fulfill your dreams. I know, because I fulfilled mine, and then some, in spite of (and sometimes because of) the fact that we have seven children. Life for me has been unbelievably rich, in spite of the problems.
Hang in there, and take one step at a time. And don't worry about relying on other people. We all depend on each other, and that's the way it is supposed to be. Seriously. We are all interdependent. Let people help you now, and later on, when you have more resources, you can help other people.
Please be aware that if you have an abortion, it could destroy your relationship.
So the right thing is to protect your baby, take it one day at a time, make the necessary decisions and adjustments and plans.
Keep in touch. We'll be here for you.
Hugs,
Pat
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