| Subject: Re: sad and overwhelmed |
Author:
Sharon
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Date Posted: 11/ 7/08 1:53pm
In reply to:
Nancy
's message, "sad and overwhelmed" on 11/ 6/08 10:35am
Nancy,
I was 40 when I got pregnant with my youngest child. He was a surprise, but it turns out he was/is the most incredible blessing. He is such a ray of sunshine in my life. I can't imagine life without him.
My doctor wanted to do an amniocentesis to see if he might have Downs Syndrome. (The odds do increase, obviously, as you get older. But basically even 1/10 chance means that 90 out of 100 babies born to women over 40 will NOT have Downs Syndrome.) Since amniocentesis comes with some slight risk of causing miscarriage, I declined that. I did have them do the nupercanel thickness test, though. (I'm not sure if I'm spelling that right or not, but basically they measure the thickness of the skin at back of the base of the baby's skull - if it's over a certain thickness it signifies there might be a risk of Down's Syndrome.) It turns out his thickness was normal. He was born in 2000 and is now 8. He's such a cheerful, bubbly, bright little guy. He's so incredibly much fun to be around and brings so much joy into the household.
And, Tracy and Pat are right: you'll have built-in (eager!) babysitters ;-)
I know hormones can really be a challenge that first trimester - and when you couple that with the stress of a pregnancy that you weren't planning on, it can weigh you down quite a bit. Just hold onto the knowledge that this passes but the joy of this little person in your life will be what will last. (If you're suffering from morning sickness, try eating ginger. That can help.)
One interesting thing is that I was actually the healthiest with this last pregnancy (the one when I was 40) than with any of my others! I don't know why that was, but it struck me as interesting. I didn't retain water and I had more energy than with my "younger" pregnancies.
Finally, I truly hope you'll embrace this unexpected blessing in your lives. But if you end up considering abortion, I'd strongly suggest you research how developed your child is at this point. When I was pregnant with my first child (I was 19), I spoke with a "counselor" at Planned Parenthood. They kept referring to him as a "blob of cells" and "mass of tissue". Even though I'd aced biology, I still allowed myself to be duped into thinking that really was what he was like at that point in his development. I made an appointment to have an abortion but ended up cancelling it after my (pro-choice) stepmother showed me pictures in her nursing books of gestational development. I was blown away. He had tiny fingers and toes, all of his organs, a heart that was beating and brain waves. He was MUCH more than a blob of tissue. I am forever grateful that she showed me those pictures and I cancelled that appointment. In fact, my son just had HIS first son Oct. 29! When I realize that both my son's and my grandson's fates rested in my hands as I made "my choice", it chills me.
I'll say a prayer for you and for your family.
Sharon
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Re: sad and overwhelmed