| Subject: Re: Going Crazy |
Author:
Sharon
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Date Posted: 12/18/08 11:22am
In reply to:
leah
's message, "Going Crazy" on 12/16/08 10:52am
Leah,
One of the main indicators of whether or not a woman will regret having an abortion is if she felt pressured into it against her wishes, either by circumstances or by individuals, like a boyfriend or parents.
True, your boyfriend is worried that his child's mother may become hostile if she knows he has another child, but 1) it's not a "given" that she WILL become hostile and 2) it would be illegal for her to prevent him from visiting. So, since she MIGHT not even put up a stink, it would be a shame for you to decide to have an abortion to protect against something that you're not even absolutely sure would happen.
More importantly, you already know the pain and remorse that lives in your heart from having aborted your first child. (In fact, on another note, be sure to have regular mamograms even before the age they are recommended. There is strong evidence that aborting a first pregnancy puts the woman at a much higher risk for breast cancer, even if she doesn't have any other risk factors. But, it's not politically correct to associate anything bad with abortion, so you are not going to hear it from the American Cancer Society - at least not yet. Hopefully, someday they'll get past political correctness and be honest with women who've had abortions so they can be extra diligent in watching for breast cancer. You can do more research on this at http://www.abortionbreastcancer.com/ and http://www.abortionbreastcancer.com/The_Link.htm )
Knowing that pain first hand and that inability to undo what has been done is probably weighing very heavily on you, especially since you are concerned about your boyfriend's reaction as well. If he truly loves you, he will support you if you choose to give birth to his/your baby. If he doesn't, then you will likely resent him in the end for "forcing" you to make a decision you didn't want. You will end up for sure without your child and, at the best, with a strained relationship with him and, at the worst, with him gone altogether. If you choose to have your baby, he will likely love his son or daughter (as he seems to be a good "daddy" to his other child).
As for writing a letter, I think that's an excellent idea. I find that writing my thought helps me to cover everything I want to say in a rational way.
I'll say a prayer for you.
Sharon
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