Re: Going Crazy -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject: Re: Going Crazy

Author:
Sharon

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Date Posted: 12/30/08 9:08am
In reply to: Leah 's message, "Re: Going Crazy" on 12/29/08 5:50pm

You don't sound "different" - you simply sound real ;-) We are all complex beings. I think someone reading my posts would probably get a picture of me that would be somewhat narrow. My day-job is related to technology, but I also am an artist (http://www.sharongray.com/giclee). (I'm familiar with the day of the dead art you speak of from Mexico. Very interesting stuff.) I believe that a personal relationship with God is more important than a church-going relationship, but I often fall short of my own standards in regard to connecting with God. I, unfortunately, put lots of others things first. I'm divorced and have 7 children by 3 different men. While that could understandably draw criticism from some people, the reality is that my life experiences are the very things that have enabled me to be an outspoken advocate for women and their unborn children. I almost aborted my first child, but chose to cancel the appointment. I felt the pressure of society's messages that I should finish school (which I did, anyway) and should only have "planned" children. But, I resisted that pressure, instead listening to my own heart. I knew the child inside me was my child, was a person, was completely dependent upon my bringing him or her into the world. I now have a grandchild through the very son I almost killed 30 years ago...It's a chilling, sobering thought. But one that I don't want to (and will never) forget...

I went on to live with a man and have two more children. We parted and a couple of years later I met the man I married and I had my last three children. (He had a daughter at the time, so that's why I have seven children ;-) We are now divorced.

We all have different faces we present to different "audiences". That's normal. The fact is, they are all "us" but just with different nuances. You most definitely "belong" on this board - along with the rest of us complicated human beings ;-)

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Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 12/30/08 11:19am

Hi Leah,

I've been away from the board for a little while because of holiday related festivities, so I'm a little behind the scene here but I'm sure glad you and your babe are ok; bleeding can be scary. I had that with one on my pregnancies, too, and wow: you really get to know what the meaning of 'vulnerable' is!

I found it pretty easy to relate to a lot of the other things you posted. It sounds like you're just processing and decompressing and don't necessarily need advice. I think (thought from the beginning!) that you're doing an awesome job dealing with the unexpected, and have been given the grace to come full circle and find the joy in it. I think as your pregnancy progresses the adjusting period will subside and you won't feel as lonely and intimidated (at times) about your baby.

I'm not a sage of wisdom at 33, but so far it seems I'm noticing that there are some things/events in life that need intervention and decisions and others that work themselves out naturally. I pray for both and accept what the hand of God brings. :)

I don't know if you need the reassurance, but punk music, tattoos, etc don't define you or your value and differently than any of us women here. We've all got eccentricities and are unique. Good thing, too! Imagine if there were only one flower to admire in all the world of creation...

I'm excited for you, and resonate with the ups downs and all arounds that this generally anticipatory season in your life is representing right now. I hope you'll keep frequent updates so we can be a part of your pregnancy!

With Kindness,

Heather