Re: WHAT 2 DO??? DECISIONS 2 MAKE -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject:

Re: WHAT 2 DO??? DECISIONS 2 MAKE

Author:
Melanie

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Date Posted: 02/14/09 7:13pm
In reply to: Nichole 's message, "WHAT 2 DO??? DECISIONS 2 MAKE" on 02/13/09 9:14am

Well, I think it is possible to make your own decision and still have some respect for where he is at as well. Did he give you his reasons for wanting you to have an abortion? Chances are good that he does not realize all of the implications (guys often don't.) He is probably concerned about having to pay child support, which is a pretty daunting thing for a 20 year old.

I've often found that guys will go one of two ways. Either they will come around as they see evidence of your pregnancy (showing, ultrasounds, etc.) that make the pregnancy real to them or they will just want out. A lot of times they don't feel things that the woman is going through, so the pregnancy is not really a baby, it is an abstract circumstance that is going to cost them.

What are your expectations of him? I think that would give you a clue as to the best way to deal with the baby's father. He really has no legal say, but I think it is good that you at least consider his feelings. Sometimes, though, you have to be true to yourself especially when the alternative goes so against your own feelings.

At any rate, talk to him, keep him posted and find out what he wants. Do you want him to be involved? Or would you be satisfied if he just signed off and had no contact and offered no support? Those are the issues that the two of you need to sort through.

If I can be of any help, let me know and I will do my best.

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