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Wednesday, April 15, 12:46:25

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Subject: New here.. Author: Meaghan (scared. excited. i dunno.) [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 07/ 8/07 4:07pm hey guys. im new here. im 19years old, married, and just found out i'm pregnant. about 8 weeks, i think. dr's appt this week. anyway, i dont know how to tell my mother. shes going to lose her mind. i've started to get excited about having a baby, even though it wasn't planned or anything. she's going to make me feel like i've ruined my life. i wish i could just avoid telling her altogether, but i know thats not realistic. i just dont know how to tell her, when to tell her, what to say. i don't want to feel like my mother is disappointed in me and all that. shes not thrilled that i'm married, and i havent finished college yet (my husband is in the navy so i needed to wait until we move somewhere for more than 6 months at a time). now shes really gonna lose it. i dunno. i'm just scared and nervous and clueless and looking for support, i guess. well anyway thanks for listening. <33 Meg [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: New here.. Author: Pat [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07/ 9/07 6:44am Hi, Meaghan, Congratulations! That's awesome! I don't understand your mother at all! Here you are, married, and having babies is something married people do! You haven't ruined your life! You have started your future! I gather she didn't want you to marry your husband. Well, that's water under the bridge. You could write her a letter. That will give her a chance to simmer down. Or maybe your husband would write to her. There are probably other ways, but that's what seems most reasonable to me. Let me know if that will work for you. She might get upset, and she might let you have it, but when that baby comes, she will almost certainly dote on her grandchild! I ought to know. I have five grandchildren. I waited a long time for them, and I love them passionately! Hugs, Pat

[> Subject: Re: New here.. Author: Lori [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07/ 9/07 11:45am Hi, Meaghan, Welcome to the board. I like Pat don't understand why your mom would be upset unless she didn't want you to get married. That is water under the bridge so to speak because you are married and married people have children. Don't let what others think or say upset you. You and your husband are married and are going to have a baby and you should be happy and enjoy this experience. Having your first child is so exciting and its something that should be enjoyed not worried over especially if your worrying about what others may think or say. If I were you I would call your mom with your husband on the phone and tell her the good news or send her a card that says something like congratulations grandma! If your mom does say something like, what were you thinking? or something to that effect just say "mom, my husband and I are having our baby and we would like for you to be happy for us." Leave it at that, you owe no one any explanations. You do need to respect your parents and honor them but in doing so you can also let your parents know that this is your decision. A life has been created and no one can take that back. Your mom is probably just concerned and that is okay most parents are concerned for their children. But, your an adult now there is no need to worry about disappointing your mom. COngratulations!! Please continue to keep us updated. We wouild love to hear from you. If you need anyone to talk to please feel free to email me any time. God Bless, Lori

[> Subject: Re: New here.. Author: Melanie [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07/12/07 5:20am Hi Meaghan In all this you didn't really say much about how your husband feels. You know a lot of the ladies went to school here with children. I went a few semesters myself when mine were younger. While finishing college is a good goal, it's not the end of the world if you don't. It depends on what YOU want. If you want to go to school, there usually is a way. As for telling your mom, the best thing is to just pick a day when she isn't already overly stressed. Maybe you could do something nice with her first. Be happy about it. If she's not, then that is her reaction, it doesn't have to be yours. Quite often, women fear the worst when telling a parent(s) about their pregnancy, and the worst doesn't always come about. Even if she is disappointed or upset, things change. Initial reactions can be difficult, but they can also be fleeting. It really is rare for a grandparent to do anything but love their grandchild. The best you can do is just to remember this and to not take her initial reaction personally. I know that's easier said than done. Once you tell your mom, though, you will not have to deal with that one stress anymore, so I would encourage you to tell her soon. Maybe you could get her a grandmother card and a brag book? ;) You can get through this, and she'll survive, also. LOL Let me know what happens.

[> Subject: Re: New here.. Author: Nikki [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08/18/07 3:50am Hey, I totally know how you feel. I was 19 when I got pregnant with my daughter. Of course, I wasn't married, had dropped out of high school, and her father and I hadn't been together a year. I was scared to death to tell my mom, and waited until I was almost 20 weeks to tell her. She was disappointed, but came around to it after awhile. My baby is 9 months now, and my mom couldn't be happier to have her in her life. So, it is best to tell her, if you haven't already... And congrats! Hope you're doing well.