| Subject: Re: did I make the right decision? |
Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 03/13/07 8:03pm
In reply to:
Dixie
's message, "did I make the right decision?" on 03/13/07 6:08pm
Hi, Dixie,
This story is so common! This man doesn't have the right to order you to have an abortion. That's your decision. I think you made the right one, personally. I can understand a man wanting to protect his child, but I'm afraid the idea that a man would want any woman to undergo such a thing is totally beyond my comprehension. What you are finding out is whether or not this is a man you really want to share your life with (in the short term or the long term). Is he doing anything other than neglecting you?
Some guys don't relate to their child for quite awhile. They usually need to see some evidence, such as changes in the mother's body, or feel movement, or hear a heartbeat, or see an ultrasound. For some guys, it doesn't really "click" until the baby is born. So be patient with him, but don't expect a particular reaction. Invite him to the birth if you want, or to see the baby when she or he is born. But ultimately, it will have to be up to him. Better to find out if he is truly a decent guy before you get even more invested in him. Because you have a baby together, you do have a bond, and this has to be rough on you.
We will be here for you. Just take a day at a time, let him know quietly that all the manipulation isn't going to work. He will just have to get used to it.
I would agree with you it is better to give up the baby for adoption than to kill him or her, but since you already have three, you know you can manage, so let your heart be your guide. I am so glad you are strong enough to know your own mind, and we support you all the way.
Hugs,
Pat
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