| Subject: Re: what should i do... |
Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 05/ 2/07 12:56pm
In reply to:
eileen
's message, "what should i do..." on 05/ 2/07 3:14am
Hi Eileen,
Well Pat said a lot that I thought was great. I also hear in your post that your instincts are directing you toward preserving the little life growing inside you. I think that's great, and while the challenges and questions you pose are very valid, I think you'll find a lot of women who were in your situation and found that life on the other side of baby worked itself out easier than they'd surmised. Not easy, necessarily, but easier than anticipated.
But more importantly is the permanence of abortion. Life circumstances (college, finances, mates, untold parents, etc) change constantly but abortion is forever. It should be weighed with that understanding. You can always work with circumstances in life. But once a new human life is ended it is so forever. A lot of women have a difficult time with that permanence and struggle years later with the 'what ifs.' I can't honestly say I've heard a woman who has opted to keep her baby say years later she regretted the choice to do so.
I'm sorry your boyfriend isn't willing to see his end in things right now. He may or may not stay around and regardless I agree with your wisdom in noting that it will be you who lives with whatever choice you make from here on out, so you should be the one deciding!
Pat's right, you're ALREADY a mother, it's just up to you to decide how to respond to that. If you feel a desire to nurture and protect the life inside you, go ahead and do it! You can call the abortion clinic back and tell them you've decided to have your baby. You can even walk away from the abortion table at the last minute if you choose to (it's happened plenty before!)
Regardless, I'm glad you found this board. There's a great group of women here, and most have had unplanned pregnancies and understand the feelings of panic and pondering that are normal to be experiencing. My only other suggestion would be not to 'react' to panic or something unplanned by aborting. So many post abortive women who struggle with the grief say, "I just felt like I had no other choice!" for one reason or another. I really wish women knew that they always have choices that can help them not have to abort. They shouldn't have to feel trapped by boyfriends/spouses/parents/careers or life in general.
It's normal to panic and want to react by making the perceived problem go away. But a decision as huge as whether or not to end a human life should be decided on more than fear and reaction for the health of the mother as much as anything else.
Hope I haven't talked your ear off! Feel free to come here and decompress anytime. :)
With Kindness,
Heather
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