Author:
Sharon
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Date Posted: 12/18/06 7:47am
Michaela,
First, take a deep breath. I know everything seems like it absolutely must be decided right now. But, the truth is, you have time to reflect and think things through. Don't feel rushed.
Let's look at your options:
1) You could have the baby and keep the baby. This would possibly (but not necessarily) mean losing your home. Or, it might mean scaling down from the mortgage you have to a more modest home and mortgage (so, not quite the same thing as losing your home - if the mortgage IS an excessive and difficult to manage one, this might actually be a blessing in disguise.) I had my last child when I was 40. He was unplanned, but he is the most incredible joy. I can't imagine my world without him in it. Things that seem impossible at the moment (having a child at 40 when I had a wonderful job and was finally had all of my children in school) actually settle in and settle down. It's amazing how we can blow things out of proportion when we're imagining the "worst-case" scenario! My little Andrew is now in Kindergarten (my OLDEST son just turned 27 this year!) My job is fine (that's why God invented day-care ;-) and my life is SO much richer for having him in it.
2) You could have your baby and place your baby with an adoptive family. I know that sounds kind of weird if you already have children (because your children will see you pregnant and question why you aren't choosing to keep their brother or sister), but it is an option, albeit a more challenging one.
3) You could have an abortion. While this might sound like it would solve all your problems, the truth is, it comes with its OWN set of problems...and it's irreversible. I've never known a woman to regret NOT having an abortion, but I've known of LOTS of women regret HAVING an abortion. You can end a pregnancy, but you can never erase it. You will always have been pregnant, and your heart and soul will know that. I worry, too, that since you sound like you don't really WANT to have an abortion, that you are at prime risk for regretting it later. (Studies show that women who feel they HAD to have an abortion - either because of job, finances, boyfriend's or husband's or parents' wishes, etc. have a MUCH greater chance of suffering the negative emotional aftereffects of abortion. It's as if they are going against the very fundamental drive within them to protect their own child - and they're doing it for someone else.) Also, your child has no one but you to protect him or her. Right now he or she is completely depending upon your love and nurturing...and it sounds like you are already feeling that connection - that bond...
I will pray that you feel strong and able to carry this pregnancy. It won't be easy, but neither will the emotional aftereffects of an abortion. And, if you carry the pregnancy to term, at least you have a beautiful little baby at the end of the road! So, any pain or hardship seems to pale in comparison!
God bless you, Michaela.
E-mail me if you want to talk. My e-mail is gray at augie.edu.
Sharon
P.S. Be sure to visit the post-abortive sites for women who are seeking healing from abortion. They give you a clear idea of what you can avoid when you are still at the decision-making stage. It's heartbreaking to hear from women who want nothing more than return to the time PRIOR to making their decision and choosing instead to give their child life... I have some links at this site that might be helpful: http://student.augie.edu/~lifealliance/lifelinks.html
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