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Re: yeah, but look how they shine, rays of hope in the dark world.. -- Julian Emberson, 12:01:53 04/28/02 Sun
Well, this is nice, Julian. If you hadn't already known, you could ruin yourself with this.
I don't care, he told himself, yet inwardly scolding. He laid still there, the feel of flicking and whatever else actions being done to his hair calming him. The frozen breeze, the warmth doubled and inflamed with some sort of friendly affection, the light of the sun glancing off the ocean like flecks of hope in the darkness... It was enough to rid him of any sense of care for anything but the moment. He didn't even feel like sleeping. He was in a thrall inside his mind with the natural wonders encased within him and around him.
Yes, it all sounds so very tree-hugger hippie-ish, but it was something you needed to feel for yourself. It was as if the warmth swam in your stomach and formed rivers through your entire body, numbing it with the subtle delights of moments of feeling. It was as if the world was staring down at you with cold, bloodshot eyes but all you did was smile in the midst, companied by a shield of apathy for anything and everything. It was a thrall he imagined he felt when times like these came upon him. There were few things that could make him relax and forget, and these were the times. But it was never with anybody else but.
But now, it was someone else. Julian sighed, reason abandoning him and he just began to hum a song that .... well, that someone had always sang him. He smiled, tapping his foot on the sand along with the invisible music. In his head, the words came back hauntingly, voice appearing not to belong to either Gallagher brothers but someone wholly different.
And all the roads we have to walk are winding...
And all the lights the lead us there are blinding...
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a feeling of content...unfamiliar. -- sean terris, 12:52:57 04/28/02 Sun
The boy had remained in attentive quiet, listening to the masculine create the sound, a diminutive smile fluttering uninterrupted across his facial appearance as a absolutely tranquil appearance dominates his expression. Eyes convene with Julian’s and he revolves his shoulders in a casual technique, his smile even now in attendance, and his serenity not yet troubled. “No need to apologize.” He announces, contributing no other words for a few instants of a thoughtful silence, the grin obtaining a more energetic position as he stares at the other, his fingers now entangling within the sand’s clutch. “Woe is me…you stole the hair in which I was bothering!” He announces in a theatrical hush, his vocalization a meager whisper, as though inflating his tone will fracture the harmony that he has been enclosed within.
His feelings alter, and he sighs tenderly as he reflects on the activities that have aroused. There’s something special about Julian. I’ve never been able to relax completely in somebody’s presence before, but now, here I am. I could comfortably tell him things that I’d never even dream about telling anyone else. Maybe it’s because he’s so understanding…but maybe it’s not. With a moderate sigh he reaches up a hand and sprinkles the sand away before disturbing the other’s hair. “I like your hair. It’s soft.” He asserts with a contented grin.
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Re: perhaps it's too good to be true. -- Julian Emberson, 13:17:02 04/28/02 Sun
He smiled, before a dawning came to him. As the reality of touch came to his body, the warmth finally bringing back the sense of feeling, a fear aroused from the pit of Julian's stomach. A fear he hadn't felt in a long time, because he hadn't allowed to feel it and now, just because of a boy he hardly really knew aside from what he... thought... he did...
His being stuttered, every belief he had he forced away. As soon as the actuality of it all came upon him, he sat up, slow as not to clue the boy in on anything he was feeling. He sun had gone and left and the moon was back as his shield from his fantasy land where nothing, nothing at all mattered. He rubbed one hand against his opposing arm, looking down at Sean with the same smile, except now it had its old, self-assured self with it. It wasn't free any longer. It was sure and grounded. There was a big difference considering the character.
He stood up, lithe body whitened immediately at the moon's pale glow. "It's getting late," He murmured, smile becoming lighter, ghosting away. He gave a quick toss of his head to the vanished sun and held out his hand for Sean to take. "We should be getting back. Early classes and everything..."
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say it isnt so... -- sean terris, 18:58:02 04/28/02 Sun
His eyes expose his concise perplexity for the other’s alteration but feeling is swiftly concealed underneath a facade of contented agreement, the grin now emerging stressed upon his lips when contrasted to his entirely lighthearted one that was existing instants before. “Yeah, you’re right.” He mutters in consent, receiving the hand but not relying upon the other to assist him to his feet, reclaiming his standing arrangement in a clumsy acceleration, evading from Julian’s hand’s clutch once rising. Combing sand from his body he bows downward to unfurl his pant legs and to recover his shirt, shoes, and socks that had been discarded to obtain absolute leisure. Restoring his shirt upon his torso and heaving his socks upon his feet he frowns pensively as he cords his gym shoes that are even now a bit moist from their meeting with the water. Restraint is then repossessed from the rock and he advances his canine cohort. “C’mere, Lobo.” He murmurs, snapping the leash upon him and gazing up at Julian from the bowed over pose, offering him the similar grin that was there previous to his self-protective armor decreasing. “Oh how the time has passed! Shall we then, my lovely Cheater?” He inquiries in a teasing approach, emotionally cursing as they both return to the soothing cloak of their resistance to even anticipated ache.
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Re: the fear encourages me to run far in ignorance. -- Julian Emberson, 19:48:42 04/28/02 Sun
The silk felt rich on his skin as he slid it on, bothering not to button the front as he rid his sweater of the sand. He put that on, some sense of true warmth flowing back into his chest and abdomen. He left his pants up, wet as they were, and he was already barefoot anyway. He chuckled, introducing his amusement after. "This was really stupid of me. It's going to take hours to get my hair back the way it was. And I'm numb as hell," He mock frowned. And then, with the rather Shakespearian approach from Sean, he gave his very own. "Can such things be, and overcome us like a summer's cloud without our special wonder? You make me strange even to the disposition that I owe, when now I think you can behold such sights..." He stopped, realizing the lines of Macbeth sounding queer with the situation. However, he laughed it off and held his arm out chauffeur-like, before chortling and putting it around Sean's shoulder. He walked back towards the gates of Skiztoln, looking forward to a shower. And yes, he was trying to cloak whatever the hell was bothering him in the pit of his stomach. He decided falsely that putting the feeling back in his body would do the trick.
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dont run too far...i'm not the chasing type. -- sean terris, 17:36:33 05/01/02 Wed
The male beams at the other, pursuing him in a pensive hush, his temple now creasing, as his pace increasingly grows unenthusiastic. “Back to the real world.” He whispers, stroking his canine’s lead meditatively. “I have to drop Lobo off at the kennels so he can eat his dinner. I’ll catch up with you later.” He announces, intending on fulfilling the pledge that didn’t actually appear like a vow when recited. He twists to break off from the male to travel in the direction of the kennels but discontinues and turns around once more. “See yah, Cheater.” He utters with a boy like grin before turning to begin jogging off, Lobo flanking his master obediently.
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Re: and it's my fault that i'm not the type to stay... -- Julian Emberson, 21:06:43 05/01/02 Wed
Julian nodded. An invisible hand was suffocating and forcing his chest to implode. This wasn't even supposed to happen to him. Why did he even let it? Why did he ever bother? What the fuck has been happening to you, Julian? You've allowed everything to affect you in everywhich way. You've been so offhandedly ungrounded, so free, and you're not supposed to be free. You've never been free. You're stuck in a body that doesn't belong to you anymore. You don't even have a goddamn soul. Remember that and get over your stupid shitty school dramas and leave everything alone! You've got... so many other things to think about. He didn't bother to say anything back, forcibly running for the direction of his dorm, desperate just to get into his shower.
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maybe i'll make an exception and come running back.. -- sean terris, 19:00:06 05/02/02 Thu
A melancholy sigh discharges from the male, as he perceives the additional depart; feeling a bit deserted and nearly…wounded? No…not harmed, absolutely not hurt. Someone couldn’t injure him just like that, he scarcely even recognize Julian Emerbson! Just one more name among an ocean of faces that seized no uniqueness, yet it is a established falsehood in his intelligence and only a division of the boy distinguishes the reality. Sighing in conquer he treks on, his shoulders a bit unperturbed in a drooping style and his eyes, at the second, devoid of sentiment. The only approach that he experiences are of the confidential category and of acidic authenticity, and he enjoys no craving to disclose these expressions to the community. He stops at the kennels and liberates his canine to authorize him to scurry within the limits of the kennel. Departing the region overflowing with superfluous clamor, but instead of routing toward the castle, he takes to traveling the grounds, discovering no genuine motive to revisit the emotionally stressing existence that he previously welcomed. I have enough problems of my own without being judged every moment I walk alive…but it makes me what I am. With a vinegary smirk he finds himself now equipped to pierce the castle. Being alone isn’t good for you, Seanieboy. Just listen to where these thoughts are getting you. Detaching the acrimony he situates his optimistic character upon his façade and glides into the heat of the castle, only now comprehending how harshly frosty he was on the exterior.
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