Old Sayings Updated for the Computer Age -- Lafcadio T. Lion and Strawberry Sage and Friends Fun Forum

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Date Posted: 19:41:03 04/30/02 Tue
Author: Bill Gates sworn enemy Lion
Author Host/IP: qam1b-sif-86.monroeaccess.net / 12.27.214.87
Subject: Old Sayings Updated for the Computer Age

Time marches on and we, as human beings, must also move ever forward in our daily lives. That is the natural order of things if we are to keep pace with life in this, the 21^st Century. Computers have taken control of our daily lives. Of that, there can be no argument.

Computers touch every part of our daily routine, from the microwave-heated cup of instant coffee to start our day to the miniscule computer chips that leap into action when we start our vehicles. Computer chips allow the reality of that modern day wonder of home entertainment and masculine mastery of his universe - the remote control.

We can't escape them. They are an integral part of life as we now know it. That genie is loose upon this planet and it can never be returned to its bottle without a major upheaval in our social landscape.

If nothing else, the "wisdom" we have gathered from the social liberal inmates who have gained control of the institutions of our society while we allowed them to do so, there are no longer any moral absolutes and everything needs to be modified to adapt to the "new realities" and thinking. We now all live by the new age credo of, "if it feels good, find an excuse so that you can do it again.. It must be so. After all, of our college educated, bright-eyed and idealistic young people and new arrivals in the workplace, with all their combined "wisdom" garnered through the backbreaking toil, struggle and privation of attending universities on Mom and Dad's nickle, tell us this is so. And, we acquiese shamelessly, placing more value on their liberal education implanted theories and emotional hot buttons than on our own realities-of-life tested experience and on-the-job knowledge.

Therefore, I submit for your approval, my friends and fellow posters, the following updated versions of old sayings and phrases. They have been revised, much as "progressives," feminists, professional race baiters, socialists, tree-huggers, emotions-on-their-sleeves-their-hands-in-our-pocketbook diaper-wetters, gun grabbers and humanistic secularists would have us do with the Ten Commandments, our Constitution, the Bill of Rights, subservience to the United Nations, economic realities and our laws.

If we can embrace what I call "sliding scale morality," then we can make cyber adaptations to ancient wisdom and homilies without concern. After all, if we can make a scientific term for a stage in the developent of a human being into an entity in and of itself so that we can excuse an action that was previously abhorrent as a "personal choice," then we can make all wisdom reflect our wishes.

Haven't we become so "sensitive to personal angst that a "garbage man" is now a "waste disposal engineer?" Aren't what used to be called "housewives" now commonly referred to as "domestic engineers?" "Salesmen" despise that term and now refer to themselves as "Account Executives" or "Customer Needs Coordinators." We have become a society that rejects everything that was not produced by Mattel, Intel and MicroSoft or has a history predating Hillary Clinton's ascendancy.

See if you can add to this partial list of updated sayings that now reflect the age in which we exist.

- What boots up must come down.

- Windows will never cease.

- Virtual reality is its own reward.

- Modulation in all things.

- A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

- The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

- A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

- You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.

- Great groups from little icons grow.

- Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.

- C:\ is the root of all directories.

- Don't put all your hyperlinks in one home page.

- A chat has nine lives.

- Don't byte off more than you can view at 800 x 680 resolution.

- Fax is stranger than fiction.

- Know what to expect before you connect.

- Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice html coding or javascript.

- Speed thrills.

- Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to surf the Web and he won't bother you for weeks.

- Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.

- The modem is the message.

- Too many clicks spoil the browse.

- The geek shall inherit the earth.

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