Re: I need some support. -- Non-BP Regional Support Groups

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Subject: Re: I need some support.

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Date Posted: 00:04:28 04/04/06 Tue
In reply to: Virginia 's message, "I need some support." on 17:43:59 06/25/04 Fri

>My daughter has recently been diagnosed with BPD. She
>has turned from a sweet lovely daughter to a
>demanding, manipulative, non-functioning individual.
>She is nearly 25 and has no insurance. She does
>nothing (including washing herself), cannot drive and
>is completely dependent on us for everything, even
>though she swears she is capable of being on her own.
>
>I fully admit my limitations here. I have no one to
>talk to, no one who understands what we are dealing
>with here, although I have called the Sheriff in order
>to start the evaluation process and she has been
>"inside" 8 days and been to a crisis intervention
>house once. I am finding my life being "stolen" hour
>by hour. I try to keep clear boundaries and she
>doesn't honor them. Nor does she care that any of us
>(my husband, myself, and two adult siblings)have
>requests or needs that don't include her. She watches
>TV (even though we have disconnected all cable), eats
>and interrupts especially myself at her whim.
>
>We are in a great deal of pain here. We don't
>recognize her and cannot see how all this change
>happened, even though it happened over a 2 year
>period. We are not idiots or abusers. We love her
>dearly and also find ourselves wanting her to go away.
> Anything to gain some relief and distance from her. I
>began to feel human when she went to the crisis
>center. Then she came back. She smells and she
>interrupts and is rude and willingly costs us a great
>deal of money to get what she wants. This is NOT the
>daughter we raised. Where did she go?
>
>I don't want to get as lost as she is. She has
>distracted every portion of our lives to the point
>that I am fighting constantly for my own serenity.
>Why do we allow this? We don't. But how do you
>cooperate with someone who won't cooperate with you or
>the family rules? I would have to force her
>physically to get compliance or do a lot of yelling
>and manipulating; all of which are unacceptable for me.
>
>Please advise us. We have purchased the SWOE book and
>workbook and are just getting started. We are seeking
>personal counseling as well as taking our daughter to
>her various group and personal appointments. In
>truth, I don't have time for all this. I feel
>invaded. I feel angry with her and am having great
>difficulty in finding something I like about her.
>Help!
Did you find the support you needed. I�m actually starting my life with someone who is said to suffer from BPD. I know I�m over my head but I think I might be sick myself because I find myself always coming back to her. I want the very best for her but dont know what to do. Can we have a normal life?

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