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Subject: I need some support.

Author:
Virginia

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Date Posted: 17:43:59 06/25/04 Fri

My daughter has recently been diagnosed with BPD. She has turned from a sweet lovely daughter to a demanding, manipulative, non-functioning individual. She is nearly 25 and has no insurance. She does nothing (including washing herself), cannot drive and is completely dependent on us for everything, even though she swears she is capable of being on her own.

I fully admit my limitations here. I have no one to talk to, no one who understands what we are dealing with here, although I have called the Sheriff in order to start the evaluation process and she has been "inside" 8 days and been to a crisis intervention house once. I am finding my life being "stolen" hour by hour. I try to keep clear boundaries and she doesn't honor them. Nor does she care that any of us (my husband, myself, and two adult siblings)have requests or needs that don't include her. She watches TV (even though we have disconnected all cable), eats and interrupts especially myself at her whim.

We are in a great deal of pain here. We don't recognize her and cannot see how all this change happened, even though it happened over a 2 year period. We are not idiots or abusers. We love her dearly and also find ourselves wanting her to go away. Anything to gain some relief and distance from her. I began to feel human when she went to the crisis center. Then she came back. She smells and she interrupts and is rude and willingly costs us a great deal of money to get what she wants. This is NOT the daughter we raised. Where did she go?

I don't want to get as lost as she is. She has distracted every portion of our lives to the point that I am fighting constantly for my own serenity. Why do we allow this? We don't. But how do you cooperate with someone who won't cooperate with you or the family rules? I would have to force her physically to get compliance or do a lot of yelling and manipulating; all of which are unacceptable for me.

Please advise us. We have purchased the SWOE book and workbook and are just getting started. We are seeking personal counseling as well as taking our daughter to her various group and personal appointments. In truth, I don't have time for all this. I feel invaded. I feel angry with her and am having great difficulty in finding something I like about her. Help!

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: I need some support.	*No name*	00:04:28 04/04/06 Tue