Game Recap-6/3 -- Proforma Pirates

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Date Posted: 07:20:02 06/04/02 Tue
Author: The Fingernator
Subject: Game Recap-6/3

Despite their best efforts to the contrary, the new-look Proforma Pirates got back on the winning side of things last night with a 11-5 win over the Jedi Knights in front of a packed house at Downes Field of soccer players, track and field atheletes, and 2 little girls rolling down the hill in left field. Last night featured the debut of Chris "Lenny" Lennon, who showed his dedication to the team by purchasing all new equipment, from cleats to a glove, after receiving the call from assistant GM Tony Spinelli. Let's hope that Lenny stays with the big club, and also the he kept the receipt for the Boys Medium shirt that he wore at shortstop. There was another debut last night, as Bi Polar Spinelli took the hill for the Pirates, getting his first win of the season, despite having to field more throws back from catcher Matt Devlin than the entire infield had to field all night. All in front of an umpire that wore workboots, limped, smoked butts, and had crutches in his car...but still managed to hop the fence instead of walking around and using the open gamte.

After battling to a scoreless first few innings, the Pirates showed their stuff, first surrendering an infield single, then a long fly ball to center field prompted Mike "better late than never" Devlin to do his impression of an Afghani shepherd dodging a US food drop in the suburbs of Mazar-i-Sharif. The two-run ding-dong put the Pirates behind, and after scoring a total of 2 runs in their past 10 innings of offense, and hitting the first ever back-to-back pop ups to the catcher, the Pirates were nervous. However, the Pirates responded by batting around in the bottom of the inning, scoring 5 runs, and never looking back. While the Pirates cruised on offense, the middle of the outfield stumbled through the last few innings, as Better Late Than Never Devlin did another impression, this time of the new Leonard P Zakim Bunker Hill Memorial Bridge, and Kevin "I'm going to take it easy and only have 4 beers in 45 minutes" Ryan demonstrated the "Stop, Drop, and Roll" technique on a single to the outfield, staying on the ground reminiscent of Rickey Henderson this weekend in New York. Thankfully the injury report is blank this morning.

It was a postgame celebration like no other, as coach Jurkiewicz brought a keg of "mental beers" and the Pirates relaxed at Downes field. Hopefully next game coach will spend more mental energy on making the throw from second to first properly, and drop a real 20-spot on a real case of Bud Light. The balance of the Pirates then retired for a few beers and sandwiches at the Beer Garden, where Lenny finally met Mike Devlin (great job of introductions Spin), and discussed the best way to attack the 2nd place Pythians on Thursday night. Go Pirates!

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