Create a New Forum Admin Login Member Login Contribute to Voyager Search VoyForums Help Desk VoyForums Exchange VoyForums Directory/Categories VoyForums Homepage VoyForums News FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1 ]

Subject: Friday Joke Author: Joker [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 19:10:52 08/02/02 Fri Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wife's been in a terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital, runs in to the ER and says his wife's been in an accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case. They page the doctor. He comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones. "Mr. Jones?" the doctor asks. "Yes sir, what's happened? How is my wife?" The doctor sits next to him and says, "Not good news. Your wife's accident resulted in two fractures of her spine." "Oh my God" says Mr. Jones, "what will be her prognosis?" "Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However, her spine is inoperable. She'll have no motor skills or capability. This means you will have to feed her." Mr. Jones begins to sob. "And you'll have to turn her in her bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia." Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly. "Then, of course," the doctor continued, "you'll have to diaper her as she'll have no control over her bladder and of course these diapers must be changed at least five times a day." Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries, sobs, wails. The doctor continues: "And you'll have to clean up her faeces on a regular basis as she'll have no control over her sphincter. Her bowel will engorge whenever and quite often I'm afraid, Of course you must clean her immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent she'll be emitting regularly. Now Mr. Jones is convulsing sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass. Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats Mr. Jones on the shoulder. "Hey, I'm just f�ckng with you man, she's dead" [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Friday Joke Author: dutch [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:32:22 09/21/02 Sat A man was on holiday in the Caribbean and, liking the warm tropical weather, settled down for a day's sunbathing. He fell asleep, and after a whole day his legs became sunburnt beyond belief. He could hardly stand the pain. He decided to go to the doctor for treatment. The doctor looked at his lobster-coloured legs and shook his head. "You must realise that this is only a small village surgery," he explained. "I've really got nothing at all to help you. However, try taking this just before bedtime..." The doctor gave him one tablet of Viagra. Puzzled, the man asked, "I've got acute sunburn: what's a Viagra tablet going to do?" "Nothing at all for the sunburn," the doctor replied, "but it will keep the sheets off your legs." ------ A husband comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. He drags the man down the stairs to the shed and puts his knob in a vice. He secures it tightly, removes the handle, and picks up a saw. The man, terrified, screams, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?" The husband says with a gleam of revenge in his eye, "Nope. YOU are...... I'M going to set the shed on fire." -------- [ Post a Reply to This Message ]