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Date Posted: 16:18:18 03/25/16 Fri
Author: Alison (Confused)
Subject: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years

2 weeks ago, my partner of 10 years and father of my 2 children, informed me that he was bisexual and before meeting me, had had sex with 30 men. Obviously it hit me like a ton of bricks. Had never had any suspicions and was as supportive and sensitive as I could be. It led to lots of questions...why tell me now-was it because we were having other relationship issues and he was trying to be honest or was he telling me because he wanted men again? So I wasvery confused but I was remarkably strong. Then a week later he asked me to consider an open relationship...apparently for me own sake which I found a ridiculous comment to make. It was clear all of a sudden what he wanted. That was when I crumbled and I really struggled whenever I thought about the future. There was no way I would contemplate an open relationship. I can't pretend to be someone I'm not but equally I shouldn't expect him to either. I have gone through an angry stage-he has had so many opportunities to tell me. He said that he hasn't lied or been dishonest...just that he has chosen not to tell me. If I ask anything that he doesn't like to hear, he throws the "you're being judgemental " line in but I know that I am being very kind and empathetic, considering the situation. I had a trip back home booked to see family so now have 5 weeks away with family and my children. This journey has become so confusing. He said that if I say no (which o already have said no to) then things will go back to normal. But I can't see how they possibly could plus I have trust issues with him now( not cheating but him saying to me that he doesn't tell me certain things because my reaction will make him unhappy) So what else is he keeping from me? I have asked that question but he said there was nothing...and then later changed his story about watching male-male porn and if he'd had sex with any men that I knew. He also said that this didn't need to be made into a big deal and was only major if I made it major!
I feel in such a muddled mess that I don't know what to do. I have 5 weeks breathing space and plan on having very minimal contact with him so I can gain strength and try not to think about it(haha-not possible really!) I stumbled across this forum and found it useful so thought I'd add my story in. Any words of wisdom greatly appreciated!!

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Replies:

Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- Still Wondering, 16:52:42 03/25/16 Fri
- Five weeks of no accountability -- Cameron, 15:31:38 03/26/16 Sat
Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- Rob (trip), 17:03:36 03/25/16 Fri
Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- WendiT, 17:32:05 03/25/16 Fri
- Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- WendiT (Wish there was a "edit" button), 17:51:28 03/25/16 Fri
Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- lily, 18:12:17 03/25/16 Fri
Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- Katie (sounds familiar), 18:26:53 03/25/16 Fri
Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- John (Don't be Cake.), 19:55:21 03/25/16 Fri
Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- Meg (I was you 2 years ago), 20:38:42 03/25/16 Fri
- Powerful story -- Cameron, 15:10:51 03/26/16 Sat
Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- Susan, 06:19:10 03/26/16 Sat
Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- D, 08:26:21 03/26/16 Sat
Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- Cameron, 14:57:39 03/26/16 Sat
Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- Pamela (OMG, Alison! So sorry!), 15:13:38 03/26/16 Sat
Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- Ruby, 15:41:15 03/26/16 Sat
- Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- Ruby, 15:43:54 03/26/16 Sat
Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- Alison (Grateful), 17:35:58 03/26/16 Sat
- Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- lily (hey Alison), 18:20:43 03/26/16 Sat
  - Re: Husbands bisexual confession after 10 years -- Patti (Welcome...yes you can), 20:36:03 03/26/16 Sat