Re: Just Wondering has given you plenty of good advice -- Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

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Date Posted: 17:58:07 05/16/16 Mon
Author: Still Wondering (That's good information!)
Subject: Re: Just Wondering has given you plenty of good advice
In reply to: Kel 's message, "Just Wondering has given you plenty of good advice" on 16:25:41 05/16/16 Mon

Yes and yes to all of that Kel!

To clarify - what I typed sounded like I narrowed it down to one person because what I wanted was to only speak to one person at a time. How I meant to explain it was that in the net I cast of 10 emails each time I did it, probably 6 emailed back. Of those six I definitely corresponded with all of them but almost immediately I'd notice that one stuck out as being a better match than the others and at this age (now 43) I don't have time for any so-so matches! I'd always take the top one that I had the most in common with and who was the most fun to email back and forth with and go from there. My co-workers on the other hand (all male), would schedule five dates a week. Different strokes for different folks. I don't have that kind of energy!! So at that point I'd focus on that person.

There really is no wrong way to do this. Kel made some very good points about clothing, etc. I'm a tshirt and jeans kind of girl so...I showed up in a tshirt and jeans. I never tried to bust out and go out all dressed up with the spiked heels and mini skirt. I know people who do that, but they are also the same people who will wear that out to every date night (even those who have been married for years). Again...for me, I feel like though I may occasionally bust out the strapless tube top, it's just not "me" on an everyday basis so I just showed up as me, take it or leave it. I'm not saying my tshirt wasn't a little tighter than usual or that I didn't wear some fancy shoes :) I'm just saying I made sure I was comfortable and most of all, me.

Also - I was surprised at the number of men who would NOT initiate the first contact! Every single person I dated, I messaged them first.

Oh and I left one guy off - there was one who was super cute and we had a great time on our first date and then talked for hours on the phone for the next few days. Until he told me his hobby was cave spelunking. I thought ok, so he goes and does that once every few months. Ya, try EVERY weekend, plus when he's not crawling in caves he's camping. His idea was that he could convert me to cave and camping lover. First of all, I don't touch spiders or bats and second, my idea of camping is in a Hilton Hotel so....NEXT!

See - think of all the funny stories you'll have to tell!

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