Re: Update -- Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

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Date Posted: 13:57:00 05/18/16 Wed
Author: Amy
Subject: Re: Update
In reply to: Vicky 's message, "Update" on 13:06:44 05/15/16 Sun

It has been 6.5 years since I was told by my husband he was gay. He has had what, in his mind, was an open marriage for those 6.5 years and probably 6.5 before that. I am in the third try at a divorce. He does NOT want to share his money, real estate, business or investments with me so is fighting it all the way. (In my state I get half so sorry, fight all you want, I will win in the end). He would love for me to find a sexual partner so he would not feel guilt or shame/the open marriage would then be consensual. TGT has mad me so numb I can't imagine ever having sex again but that is a totally different post.
If I would have agreed to an open MOM and continued having sex with my GH I would :
1. Have gotten gonorrea when he did (he doesn't like to use condoms).
2. Be tested every 6 months for HIV (he doesn't have it but has sex with HIV positive partners and did I mention he doesn't like to use condoms).
3. Have slept in the same bed as he did when f***ing his partners (some as young as 21 and he is 61. That actually has happened but once I found out I never slept on that bed again).
4. Have had to explain why sleeping around is ok for Mom and Dad but why I don't think it is a good idea for my 3 adult children all in their 20's.
5. Have had to explain why their father is spending holidays with another man instead of with us.
6. Worried that the money needed for my kids college, weddings, medical or other emergencies wouldn't be there because he was spending it on the "other man". That too has happened 20k on horses for his latest fling. Got the court to stop that pending the divorce.
The counselor we saw in the very beginning who was a lesbian 1. Congratulated my husband ...yeah you are GAY... But 2. Advised against an open MOM marriage because she said in the end they never work. Someone always cares more, is jealous, suffers emotionally etc.
My advice ... Set the man free. You will do everyone involved a huge favor.

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Replies:

Re: Update -- Vicky, 10:04:43 05/19/16 Thu