Re: Update -- Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

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Date Posted: 10:04:43 05/19/16 Thu
Author: Vicky
Subject: Re: Update
In reply to: Vicky 's message, "Update" on 13:06:44 05/15/16 Sun

Hi,
I know some of you are well meaning. My financial situation is good I am capable of supporting myself and my kids on my own. I am protected in Ontario Canada under common law spouse laws - the house is in both of our names.

We are just starting to talk about it now so we don't have guidelines yet. I doubt he will be ok with an open marriage where we are free to see others on our own.

Cameron I am trusting my gut and it doesn't always tell me what I want to hear. I had a 1 second glimpse of that website before he shut it down and it took me all of 1 minute to know it was true even though I had zero reason to think it beforehand. My gut also tells me from his behaviour that he has never acted on it. I've tried pushing him a bit suggesting he or we could try things and he backs right off.

The question 'is he cheating' I seriously doubt it I've asked myself that question a lot and it just doens't sit right. He doesn't hide his phone or the password and rarely ever goes out. I checked up on him after I found out by reading old emails and texts looking for any indication he was lying about times he did go out and I only found email or text correspondence discussing details of the plans exactly as he had told me - and I found the bi porn on his private computer. I would just know if he was lying. Like when I asked him if he was bi or gay and he did lie I knew it - I could have easily believed his excuse because I wanted to believe it but I knew.

I want to try a MOM. He's not just my spouse he's my best friend and yes he hurt me by not telling me he had these feelings but I can understand why. I know he values our relationship and my gut tells me he doesn't want a romantic relationship with a man (or another woman) in the end if he does want to try sex with a man - it's just sex. I've done a lot of thinking about it and I would be ok with it. I know the risk that he'll leave me but I can't see that happening.

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