Author:
Syllabus B candidates
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Date Posted: 22:11:28 05/08/03 Thu
In reply to:
cherry kam
's message, "唔該幫我睇下,我eng合唔合格呀" on 02:20:01 02/19/03 Wed
Quite a lot of mistakes
i suppose u would fail :P
Dear Ms Cheung,
I am writing to complaint about the environment of local library, there’s too much noise in the local library. The purpose is use for students to study in here. Now, it lost the usefulness. Yesterday, I was preparing for my HKCEE exam and I visited the local library for the first time. I was disappointed in the environment, because when I studied in the library.
Firstly, the boy, sat on my near, listened the CD-ROM, but the volume was very strong. Seriously, he also used a pen to beat out the music. He didn’t know that it could affect other students to study. I used the unfriendly expression of the eyes to him, but he was not mean to stop his music. And the librarians were not stopped his behind.
Secondly, two boys sat on my opposite side. Although they were discussed their homework, but they didn’t quiet to talking. I known that study is true but they should control the volume. One of the library rules is keep quiet on every time, and the librarians were not stopped their behind.
Thirdly, the local library is near the streets. There have always jam in the traffic, so the cars were shouted “BOOP”. I was clearly heard this in the library, I was troubled by it. I don’t know why the library builds in near the streets. There was seriously noise pollution.
Finally, one of the rules in library, that don’t eating and drinking in there. But, some children were eating and running around the bookshelf. Some times they suddenly shouted and horse laughed. The staff also were not stopped their behind.
By this complaint, I hope you should improve the service. I look forward to receiving your reply.
Yours sincerely,
J. Chan
Mistakes:
1.use complain instead of complaint
2.the purpose is (use) for students
3.function will be better than usefulness?
4.. I was disappointed in the environment, because when I studied in the library.
5., the boy, sat on my near, listened the CD-ROM,<
should say" the boy who sat nearby listened to the CD
6.the volume was very strong
7.Seriously, he also used a pen to beat out the music.
<< strange expressions
8.I used the unfriendly expression of the eyes to him,<<
should say "i make an unfriendly eyes-expression to him"
9.And the librarians were not stopped his behind.<
10.Although they were discussed their homework, but they didn’t quiet to talking.
After although cant say but
although they were discussing their homework, they didnt talk silencely/quietly
too many mistakes -.=
I wonder if u can pass
comment
1.care about tense
2.care about passive and active voices
3.correct use of words
4.correct forms of vocabulary
5.arrange the ideas before u started to write
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