Christianity is certainly not for sissies -- <font size = "4">The Drunks Bar </font size "4">

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Date Posted: 11:42:29 05/06/03 Tue
Author: Eric
Subject: Christianity is certainly not for sissies
In reply to: Reverend E. Dwayne Looper 's message, "Looper Ministries Int'l Position on Bill Bennet and Christian Gaming" on 19:43:04 05/05/03 Mon

I agree with E. Dewayne about the non-sissiness of Christinity. It just so happens that I was saved at a promise-keepers rally this Friday last. I watched as a well-muscled man assembled two heavy pieces of timber into a cross. He even had to axe part of the log to make them fit together. All the while, he gasped for air through a sermon on the masculinity of Christ. Later we were treated to a film showing other promise keepers who did such masculine things as bullriding and piloting the space shuttle. The speakers stopped short of saying that promise keepers had the biggest penises but not by much.

When the speaker made the alter call I started thinking about my life as a whole. I don't know if it was the touching music of the 9 piece band playing background music, the message delivered by the speaker, or the vodka laden chiltons that my friend and I had imbibed just prior to arriving at the rally. I guess in the end it doesn't matter. When I saw the speaker giving hugs to people who went up front to be saved I decided that I had to go also. Indeed, I wanted that hug. I rushed to the stage only to find it beset by other men seeking forgiveness from Christ. By the time I reach the front of the crowd the speaker had made a tactical retreat to the stage where he could not be embraced by the now hundreds seeking hot male on male spiritual action. I ended up being saved for nothing. I never got my hug.

On the way home I started having second thoughts. I went to sleep, awash in alcohol induced confusion and spiritual crisis. When I awoke I felt dirty. I took a shower, washing away the blood of Christ, which actually becomes quite itchy when it dries on your skin. My relationship with Christ turned out to be a one night stand. Christ promised to call me but I haven't heard from him yet. I'm not sure if I should tell my wife about my little triste with Jesus. God, I don't even know how I would tell her even if I decided to. For now, I must contend with the guilt associated with one night of religious passion in an otherwise honest life marked by atheistic rectitude.

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Replies:

Let's Take the Hard Road -- Father Long, 07:50:53 05/07/03 Wed
- yu lukkin fer fellershipin wit sum saved in de trobin fesh kuntry fellers? -- rinvrind doktir pikkkur pace, 17:47:10 05/07/03 Wed