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Date Posted: 18:36:11 01/30/03 Thu
Author: Leo Pötsch
Subject: Educashun and Bush
In reply to: Jay Hovah 's message, "Language and Bush" on 09:59:04 01/30/03 Thu

Give Bush a break. He was trying to get educated before Sept 11, 2001, disctracted him. He even was in a school when he found out about the attacks.

Here's a little snippet from "Nine-Eleven: The Musical" detailing the events.:

********

(BUSH, RUMSFELD and POWELL go to the school. Enter TEACHER and CHILDREN.)

TEACHER:

Okay children, we’ve got a special surprise today. The President has come to see us!

CHILD 1:

Oh, Christ. Jesus H. fucking Christ. On a pogo stick.

CHILD 2:

Isn’t the remedial unit down the hall?

CHILD 3:

This is going to be worse than when I came out to my parents! Just imagine: “Mom, I met the President today.”

(in motherly voice)

“Oh Johnny, how could you?”

(RUMSFELD leaves)

BUSH:

Hi kids! Do you know who I am?

CHILD 2:

Why, don’t you know?

BUSH:

I’m the President of the United States of Amphetamines!

CHILD 3:

Get me out of here. I’m just going to die with embarrassment.

CHILD 1:

That’s the United States of America!

BUSH:
(proud, like a stupid puppy)

Aren’t you a clever one?

CHILD 2:

Well you’re not!

CHILD 3:

I know. When my mom asks, I’ll tell her I was caught selling heroin in the playground. That should be less embarrassing than explaining I met fuck-nut here.

TEACHER:

Now children, would you like to sing a song for the President?

CHILDREN:

No way. Uh uh. Nada. Zip. Not for that shit-for-brains.

TEACHER:

Come on, now....

CHILDREN:
(As the children sing, RUMSFELD re-enters)

(to the tune of “London Bridge is falling down”)

World Trade Towers are falling down,
Falling down, falling down!
World Trade Towers are falling down,
Georgie Dubya!

BUSH:

Now kids, I think that’s the wrong words. It’s London Bridge.

RUMSFELD:

Sir, no it isn’t. America is under attack.

BUSH:
(Shouting at children)

You little bastards! You did this deliberately!

POWELL:

Sir, please restrain yourself. You’re losing votes.

BUSH:

Why am I always the last to know everything around here?

RUMSFELD:

You’re the President, Sir. We like to keep it that way. Now come along. Air Force One is waiting.

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Replies:

  • Nuclear Bushism -- OPB, 20:06:12 01/30/03 Thu
  • Actually I can't really tell... -- Jay Hovah, 08:35:44 01/31/03 Fri

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