White House adventures part I -- The UWF is Back!

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Date Posted: 17:50:25 07/28/02 Sun
Author: Big Poppa Chump
Author Host/IP: cache-dg05.proxy.aol.com / 205.188.208.137
Subject: White House adventures part I

*The scene opens with BPC and Mostasteless standing in line. THe camera pans around and shows a crazy old man holding a sign that says "APOCALYPSE." THe camera then focuses on BPC.*

BPC: Jesus Christ. People get crazier every fucking day.

Mos: Yeah I know...just the other day I had some little girl in a green uniform try to sell me cookies.

BPC: Thats a girl scout you dumbass.

MOS: I know that but I was taking a shower at the time.

BPC: Outside?

MOS: Man the plumber was there...I had to do what I had to do.

BPC: Whatever man.

*BPC and Mos move up in line and hand their tickets to the ticket lady.*

Lady: OK your seats are in first class seats 1 and 2 row 3.

BPC: Thanks.

MOS: YOu know I'm a professional wrestler...

BPC: Damnit Mos lets go.

MOS: Fine!

*THe two walk onto the plane and sit in their seats. A flight attendant walks up to them.*

Attendant: Sirs that camera is gonna have to be turned off.

BPC: DO you know who we are?

Attendant: Yes sir I do, but during takeoff and flight and landing it may disrupt the cockpits radar, and then we wouldn't know where we were and might end up in Wisconsin.

MOS: Oh God no, not Wisconsin.

*BPC looks at the camera man.*

BPC: Turn it off.

///////////four hours later\\\\\\\\\\\\\

*The camera turns back on in the terminal.*

BPC: Damn that flight sucked.

MOS: How many times can they show that damned movie.

BPC: Yeah that shits gettin old. Its so unbelievable.

MOS: Yeah and I hate Paul Walker.

BPC: Yep.

*The two men walk through the terminal towards the baggage claim area. Along the way they see the Washington Redskin cheerleaders.*

MOS: Whoa do you see that.

BPC: WHich one?

Mos: All of them!!!

*The two men start to walk over to them but are stopped by a guy in a chauffer suit.*

Chauffer: Mr. Chump, and Mr. Mostasteless I presume?

MOS: Maybe...

Chauffer: I'm your chauffer, let me be the first to welcome you to our nations capital.

BPC: Ok...

Chauffer: I've already gotten your bags and the car is outside.

Mos: We didn't order a limo.

Chauffer: Yes sir, I know the PResident of the United States did sir.

BPC: So WE, the taxpayers, are paying for it.

Chauffer: This way sir. I hope you don't mind a few extra passengers.

MOS: Damnit did Michael Cole follow us again?

Chauffer: No sir. This way.

*The scene cuts to BPC and Mos getting into the limo. The camera pans around and sees a lush limo with two girls, obviously drunk, sitting on the opposite side.*

Girl #1: Hey!!!!!

BPC: Uhhh hi?

Girl #2: Don't you know who we are?

MOS: No. Are we supposed to?

Girl #1: We're the first daughters, I'm Jenna.

Girl #2: And I'm Barbara...

BPC: And you're both drunk.

Jenna: Yep!!!!

*BPC rolls his eyes.*

BPC: Jesus.

*Barbara presses the button with lowers the seperator between the passangers and the driver.*

Chauffer: Yes ma'am?

Barbara: I'm hungry, stop at this Taco Bell right here.

Chauffer: Yes ma'am.

MOS: You don't plan on getting out do you?

Jenna: Well how else are we supposed to get food, the limo won't fit through the drive through.

BPC: This should be good.

MOS: Yep.

*The limo comes to a stop and the girls stumble out. They start giggling like girls are so likely to do when inebriated. Just at that time a D.C. officer pulls up and sees the girls. He walks over to them.*

Cop: How are you ladies doing today?

Jenna: Awesome...

Barbara: Yep.

Cop: Could you follow me please.

*THe cop walks over to his cruiser and takes out a breathalyzer.*

Cop: Blow on this please ma'am.

Barbara: Go ahead Jenna, you're good at blowing things... hahahaha.

Jenna: (while giggling) Shut up.

*Jenna blows on the breathalyzer and the cop examines it. The cop then places Jenna in handcuffs and reads her her rights.*

BPC: Holy shit man!!!

MOS: WHat?

BPC: Dude they just got arrested.

*MOS looks outside just as Barbara is being sat into the car.*

MOS: Oh shit...

*The scene fades out. Will BPC and Mos save the girls? Probably not, but the White House adventures are just beginning!!*

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