I'd Change The Past If I Could -- I'd Change the Past IF I Could and Give You the STARS

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Date Posted: 20:52:50 09/20/00 Wed
Author: Susan Redenius
Subject: I'd Change The Past If I Could

There are so many memories of my son,my mother and my father.Most are good ones,yet some to this day haunt me as if they were yesterday.I'd give anything to change my actions from the past,like my drinking.It cost me nearly everything including,nearly losing my mind.I miss my son so much that the pain of it has never eased.It's worse than actually losing him to death,at least in death I'd know where he was and how he was doing.I could call,but hearing the icy harsh voices on the other side of the line puts me into a deep depression that last for weeks.I could write,but knowing there wont be a return letter stays my hand.If only I could talk to him,make him understand WHY some things had to happen the way they did,maybe,just maybe I'd feel a litte better,maybe.He's near grown now and I wouldn't know him if he knocked me over.That is so sad,not knowing.My mother and father would rather I never show my face to them again in their life-times.I was so wild and raw then.If only I could go back and fix the wrongs,say the right things or act the way they wanted,if only.I wish I could say I'm sorry to them all.I wish I could give them every drop of love thats still in my heart.I know I was a bad mother,daughter and person then.I'd like to think that I'm better now.I'd like to know that they'd let me back into their hearts.If I could change the past I'd not be here,I'd be there giving them all my love.Mom,Dad,Garth? PLEASE forgive me.Please forgive the awful things done and said.Let me back in...Please...Susan

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Replies:

Re: I'd Change The Past If I Could -- Gyel, 23:39:18 09/23/00 Sat
- Re: I'd Change The Past If I Could -- Eric, 07:12:32 10/11/02 Fri