| Subject: RAW 5 |
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X-Rodd
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Date Posted: 16:25:37 07/31/02 Wed
“Wrestling…. Reality… Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference… but we as entertainers have the responsibility…. To these fans.”
Vince McMahon
“The True President of RAW”
---------------------
(clips of last night’s PPV is shown, and how Kurt Angle became the new World Champion of the WWE. The clips end with the question of what the first task Angle will be put through as the new champ.)
(Credits end, and pyros explode as we are brought into the Joe Louis Arena for the second consecutive night, for RAW!)
(“Olympic” hits the speakers and the fans give a STANDING OVATION for the new World Champion! Angle makes his way into the ring, and gets a mic.)
Angle: “LADIES and GENTLEMEN, your CHAMPION has RETURNED! (pop) Last night at Vengeance, I did what I said I would do… I went in there, and totally BEAT up the Undertaker and Chris Jericho! Tonight folks… TONIGHT, will be the first night after my victory, and----“
DEAD MAN WALKING….
(Undertaker’s music hits the speakers as the Red Devil comes to the entrance stage with a microphone in hand.)
Undertaker: “Listen here, you little red, white, and blue NUT, whatever happened last night was a COMPLETE FLUKE. NOBODY here saw you pin me… because it NEVER happened! The referee was HALLUCINATING!”
(the crowd boo’s in disbelief, while Undertaker tries to shut them up.)
Undertaker: “You know what Angle… I’ll be the wise man in this whole shindig… I’ll LET you fight me for a rematch for the title, out of the goodness of my own heart… TONIGHT!”
NO CHANCE!!! CUZ THAT WHAT YOU’VE GOT!!!
(Vince McMahon suddenly appears behind Taker.)
Vince; “Whoa Whoa Whoa WHOA! Now wait just a second DAMNIT, who the HELL do you think YOU ARE?! YOU don’t make the matches here tonight I DO! And ANOTHER thing, you RED DICK for a---
(Suddenly TAKER grabs at McMahon’s THROAT! Vince’s mic drops and it looks like he’s about to get chokeslammed off the side of the ramp!)
“OKAY! OKAY! Undertaker, you’ve GOT your rematch tonight. I ACCEPT your challenge!”
(Taker looks at Angle, and lets go of Vince, who falls down on the floor, grasping his neck.)
Taker: “Alright Angle, if you insist…”
(Taker drops his mic, and shakes his head. He heads to the back as the scene fades with Angle going towards to tend to Vince.)
Mama Mia!!!
(cameras show the backside of a blonde walking down the corridors of the Joe Louis Arena. It looks like Trish Stratus is in the house!!!)
(commercials)
----------------------
TLKJATHEOHA PJTOEHA JLJTHE AHTOE GTV TNWJOWHE GTV HWOHE GTV…..
(a black and white camera shows footage of the blonde approaching a dazed Vince McMahon. She tends to him, but all Vince looks at is her cleavage. They both enter his office…. End of Scene….)
adjlajdldjk G aldjadljaldjkd T aldjlajd V aldkjaldjd *static *
----------------------
Re-Match for the Tag-Team Titles
Natural Born Thrillers vs. Chuck and Billy
(The match is a rematch from last night’s Vengeance PPV. Basically the same moves as last night, featuring some high spots from both sides. Towards the end of the match, Chuck Palumbo hits a SUPERKICK, but suddenly there is some distraction from the Dudley Boys! Bubba and Spike start to set a table on the ringside, and make plans to put Chuck through the table. Mr. Ass is in the ring, and he tosses Sean to the apron. Chuck Palumbo HITS Sean with the Superkick, making Sean go THROUGH the table! This allows Mr. Ass to hit the Fameasser on the man from Smackdown, and DX takes the gold!)
Winner and New Tag-Champs: Chuck and Billy
(Post-Match: Dudleys are PISSED at having cost the Nat. Born Thrillers the belt, and try to attack Chuck and Billy, but they manage to escape the ring to the back.)
Mr. Extreme?
(the scene opens to the backstage area, where Tommy Dreamer is having a chat… errr TRYING to have a chat w/ Tajiri.)
Dreamer: “…sooo Tajiri… what’s been going on?”
Tajiri: “Hasha moo-ken, jisutu pokabeeeeeeerrrrr!!!”
(crowd laughs.)
Dreamer: “Hey! Did you say beer? What a coincidence buddy…”
(Dreamer turns around a gets a beer, and turns back around to hand the beer over to Tajiri.)
Dreamer: “Look! Beer!”
Tajiri: “Bee?”
Dreamer: “Not Bee… BEERRRRRR!”
(Tajiri takes the bottle, and develops an idea.)
Tajiri: “Ahh!”
(He opens the bottle, and then pours it on his head, while singing a Beach Boys song. Dreamer laughs a bit, and turns around to confront Jeff Hardy.)
Hardy: “Hey… I see you’ve got a match tonight against Edge coming up. Just wanna let you know that I’ll be pushing for ya boy.”
(They both shake hands.)
Dreamer: “Hey, that’s cool man. Yo, no hard feelings from last week, you won fair and square.”
(Jeff grins.)
Hardy: “Yeah… it’s allll good.”
(Hardy leaves the scene, and the camera now goes back to Tajiri.)
Tajiri: “Boogey-boo, I git awound, git awound, Ah git awound!!! Boogey-boo!”
King: “Oh my god, he IS one of the Beach Boys!”
Triiiiisssssshhhhhh!!!
(the scene opens up to Trish Stratus shaking her booty a bit for the camera, as her backside enters Vince McMahon’s room!
(commercials)
------------------------------------
atheoa theaot hthah tgheoht eahgohte agheohtea tG theoahthelka htejalj t T theoaththe tathe thtehaV the atheotinggagdgd zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(the scene opens up from static to the same black and white screen as before. The camera is located in Vince’s room, on a corner of the ceiling. There appears to be Trish Stratus’ head talking with Vince McMahon about something. Stratus seems to be very touchy to Vince, and it’s obvious that they’re “getting back to old times”… STATIC)
Bump…
(The scene opens up to a cheery Edge on his way to the ring. He accidentally bumps into Jeff Hardy, and excuses himself. Edge continues on his way, leaving Jeff Hardy alone, with his back turned.)
Hardy: “Extreme… Edge?… Ha!”
Regular Match-Up
Tommy Dreamer vs. Edge
(The two start off very well. Both men get off with some very hard bumps and moves. In fact, BOTH Dreamer and Edge kicked out from the Inverted DDT AND the Edge-cecution, which fared to make the match a lot more interesting. Let’s skip to the end of the match.)
Heyman: “Well folks, BOTH men have kicked out of each other’s finishers, and we STILL have a match going on.”
King: “Yeah, that’s great and all… but what I’m interested is knowing what TRISH STRATUS is doing here tonight!”
Heyman: “What, do you NOT have a wife or something? For Christ’s sake, you’re just a big pervert… (pauses) Folks, I’m just getting word that this match has just turned into an EXTREME MATCH, thanks to this… this “Man Upstairs…”
King: “What?! Who’s talking to your headphones, I didn’t hear anything!”
(Heyman quickly tells crew member to pass word to referee.)
Heyman: “You know why King? It’s because you’re too busy thinking about the BITCH-PUPPIES, that’s why!”
King: “HAH!”
(the referee tells both men that it has become an extreme match, and both Edge and Dreamer look at each other. Suddenly, the LEAVE THE RING! Edge goes and fetches himself a chair, while Dreamer gets under the ring to find himself some trash can lids. Both men are poised with their weapons. Edge attacks, swings the chair, but Dreamer ducks, and NAILS a dropkick to the chair that connects with Edge’s face! Dreamer goes for the pin.)
1…..2…. KICKOUT!
(Dreamer gets up frustrated, and he stands poised with the trash can lids. Right when Edge gets up, HE swings and misses, Edge slaps the lids down, and hits his (bulldog-leg sweep) ONTO the lids! Edge covers!)
1…..2….. NOOO!
(Edge gets up and gets his chair, SUDDENLY Jeff Hardy runs to the ring with a SINGAPORE CANE! Edge wonders what’s going on, and Hardy SLAPS Edge across the face with the CANE! Edge is knocked down hard, and he’s out! Suddenly Dreamer gets up, and wonders what’s going on! The crowd cheers at both of these men from their match last week, and Hardy goes to hand Dreamer the appropriate weapon, BUT HARDY GOES ON TO CRACK THE CANE ON DREAMER’S HEAD! Hardy goes wild in the middle of the ring, and leaves both men down and out! Edge slowly crawls to Dreamer, and makes the cover.)
1………2………. NOOOOOOO!!!!!
Heyman: “WHAAAAAAAAATTT????!!!!”
King: “OH MY GOD!
(Hardy stands on the entrance ramp, PISSED, as Edge slaps the middle of the ring. He crawls over to the corner and stands poised for a spear, to the crowd cheering. Dreamer slowly gets up, still banged up from the cane-shot. Edge SPRINTS to Dreamer, but Dreamer gets out of the way just in time! Edge runs all the way to the other corner, hops middle, jumps 180 onto the top-rope, and NAILS a SPEAR on Dreamer from the TOP ROPE corner of the ring! Edge lands hard on the floor, but makes the pin!)
1………2………3!!!!!
Winner: Edge
Post-Match: Jeff Hardy runs into the ring and begins to attack on Edge. He picks up the remnant of the cane, and BEATS Edge with it until Edge is away from the ring. Dreamer gets up, dazed from the spear, and receives ONE MORE cane shot, this one SNAPPING the cane in half! Dreamer is down and out, and both the Dudleys and Tajiri run to the ring, only to have Hardy clear out to the audience. Hardy’s music blares as he exits and the scene fades to commercials.)
------------------------------------
The Millions… and MILLIONS!
(the scene opens up to Kane, sitting in his locker room, prepping himself up for his IC Title match tonight.)
Kane: “Well tonight, Kane’s got his big match for the Intercontinental Title against Big Poppa Pump, Scott Steiner. Hopefully by the end of the night we won’t turn into the Big Poppa CHUMP, Scott Whiner!” (crowd laughs) “So when all of the millions… (crowd: And Millions) of Kane’s fans, get alllll Kaned-Up, they’re going to feel the fire blazing in front of their faces, and they will Hul-KANE-IA become reality! Ooooh, I feel it all right, and it feels reaaaaaallllllyyyyy waaaarrrrrmmmm… (crowd pop.)
…..like pie!”
An Announcement?
(Vince steps out of his office and runs into a camera crewman.)
Vince: “Yeah… I would like for you to get the guys prepared… I’m going to make a big announcement in a few minutes that I’m sure… even guys like you will appreciate from…”
Intercontinental Title Match
Scott Steiner © vs. Kane
*At this time, Paul Heyman is replaced by Michael Cole, since Heyman “needed to use the bathroom.”
(Long, boring match. Scott Steiner gets in the Steiner Recliner, but Kane is able to hit the ropes. Towards the end, Kane had JUST put Steiner througha chokeslam, is was about to pin, but HHH from out of nowhere pulls the ref out, and NAILS Kane with the Pedigree. Steiner stands up, and looks at the carnage below him. HHH is on the outside, and the referee geos back in to call the match. Scott Steiner smiles at HHH. He goes over to pin Kane… 1…..2…3…. HHH smiles back, and enters the ring. HHH and Scott look at each other, and the crowd boo’s, as it looks like we’ve got a new member of DX! Scott asks for a t-shirt, and HHH takes his off to give it to Scott. Scott PUTS on the t-shirt, and the crowd boo’s! Kane rolls out, and can’t believe what he’s seeing. HHH looks over to him, and does the DX crotch. SUDDENLY SCOTT attacks HHH from behind, and starts kicking him onto the floor! Kane enters the ring and helps Scott take care of Hunter. Chuck and Mr. Ass go out to help Hunter, but Kane and Scott clear the ring. HHH rolls out to safety, and Scott RIPS the DX shirt from his chest, and both he and Kane pump up to the crowd!)
Winner: Scott Steiner
Lesnar!
“You are the GREATEST thing that’s EVER happened to the WWE. You are the FUTURE of the WWE… there will be nobody LIKE YOU in the WWE… you are the TRUE living legend… that Chris Jericho has STOLEN YOUR NAME! Brock, this is all about YOU… YOU are the NEXT BIG THING!”
(scene opens to Brock flexing with the crazy look in his eyes. Paul Heyman is the one who’s talking to him, as he’s returned to Brock’s side.)
Heyman: “At Vengeance, you HUMILIATED Test in front of everybody, and left him a bloody pulp! The world is now a better PLACE because of YOU! Now the question is…
…what’s going to happen next?”
Arrrrriiiiibaaaa!!!!!
(Mexican music hits the speakers as Rey Misterio Jr. makes his way to the ring, with Chavo Guerrero at his side. Rey Rey enters with the mic in his hand.)
Rey: “Hey, ODALE!!! Listen right here holmes…. This is Rey Rey for all of you pansies who don’t know some TRUE wrestlin’ yo… Cuz that is EXACTLY what I am… a TRUE wrestler. I ain’t big on none of that ESTUPIDO AMERICAN luchadores, no senor. You see, you people have grown up on the wrong side of the industry. All you guys are used to is the “People’s Elbow,” and the “Million Dollar Dream”…. All of that stuff put me to SLEEP, ese! Now in this federation, there is STILL one man around here who thinks he keeps it real. And that man goes by HULK HOGAN. (crowd pop.) Now THIS is an old bag of PESUNIA, man! I’m tired of seeing him “Hulk” up, and give some stupid leg drop, ese. I know you came here to watch some REAL wrestling, so Hulk Hogan… ODALE, why don’t you get your old ass out here so I can beat you from one corner to another, eh?”
(the guitair strummings in Hogan’s theme starts to hit the speakers, and out comes Hulkamnia himself! The crowd ALL RISE for the real American Hero, as he pulls out a mic.)
Hogan: “You know… in all my career, I’ve always seen little midgets who think they got BALLS of steel. And time and time again, I’ve got the same kind of midget, telling the world that they’re ‘better’ than Hulkamania. Well you know what happens to every MIDGET that challenges me? They get STOMPED!”
(Hogan drops the mic, and runs into the ring for an impromptu match…)
Standard Match
Rey Misterio vs. Hulk Hogan
(Hogan gets the earlier advantage as he gets into the ring. Chavo is ordered to the back, and he does so reluctantly. Rey Rey eventually gets the upper hand, but is fails to conquer the HULK UP… big boots, ropes to the patented leg drop, 1…2….3.)
Winner: Hulk Hogan
(cuts to commercials as Hogan celebrates in the ring.)
------------------------------
Enter…
….NO CHANCE, CUZ THAT’S WHAT YOU’VE GOT…
(the crowds suddenly CHEER for Vince McMahon as he makes his way out towards the ring, strutting his walk. He seems eager to get into the ring, and he has a mic with him.)
Vince: “Now I’m going to cut to the chase here… HOW MANY of you guys out there loooovvvvve to get your hands on a nice, hot, exotic woman???”
(the crowd ROARS with delight.)
Vince: “Hahaha, I thought so! See, through the course of the history in this company, there’s always been a woman who’s always stood out towards the feminine side. Let’s begin with the early hotties… like Miss ELIZABETH! (crowd pop) SUNNY! (crowd pop)… SABLE!!!! (crowd ROARS)… Chyna? (crowd boo’s, but some cheer)… or how about…
…. Trish Stratus?”
(At this, the whole crowd erupts to cheers. Vince stands there, impressed.)
Vince: “Well… guess what folks. YOU’RE IN LUCK, because TONIGHT, you’re going to GET what you WANT! (crowd pop)… so without further due, let me introduce you to the NEWEST member of the WWE Raw brand… the delightful… the masterminding… and the BEATIFULLY talented….
…..the newest female icon of the WWE….
….TYLEEEEEENE BUCK!!!!”
(some exotic music starts to hit the speakers as the ONE AND ONLY Tylene Buck makes her way to the ring. The crowd stands aghast, yet they still cheer. Cole is explaining how she was referred to as Major Gunz in WCW, and King is mesmerized by her “puppies.” Buck enters the ring, and waves to the crowd.)
Vince: “Folks… now I know that you all know her… but do you REALLY know her? THAT is what you guys are interested in knowing, eh? (crowd pop) So let me ask you something, Tylene… why are you here?”
(Tylene takes the mic, and smiles.)
Tylene: “Well… I’m here… because I want to… well REVOLUTIONIZE the women’s look in the WWE.”
(Vince takes the phone back.)
Vince: “Revolutionize you say… well how do you mean?”
(Tylene Buck smiles devilishly.)
Tylene: “…ok…. Close your eyes, Vincey…”
King: “Vincey???
(Vince closes his eyes, and Tylene licks her lips. She gets close to Vince….
……and BOOM!!!! SHE DELIVERS A MONSTER KICK TO HIS NUTS!!!)
Cole: “Oh my God! Tylene Buck has just STOPPED the flow to Vince!”
BREAK IT DOWN!!!!
(X-Rodd walks towards the ring, smiling, and enters it. Both he and Tylene embrace in the middle of the ring, while Vince is still down, his face beet-red. Rodd takes a mic out. The rest of DX shows up and all gather in the ring.)
X-Rodd: “Well Vince… you’ve said it right. Tylene IS the newest member of the WWE RAW franchise… only get this… I’M the one who have signed her! I’M the one who has gone out, and found my one and true love! And to think that YOU had a chance with her… HA! Whatever happened to your wife, man? Don’t you CARE about her anymore? HUH?! You’re a lamentable excuse for a friggin’ human being, Vince, just PITIFUL! And check this… Tylene Buck… she’s not only the newest member of RAW… but she is now the newest member of DX! Now for all of those who don’t know the drill… drill on this….
……SUCK IT!!!”
(DX music blares as they all leave the ring, with boo’s echoing all over the world. X-Rodd and Tylene hold hands, and they wave at Vince, who is IRATE in the middle of the ring. Cut to commercials.)
-------------------------------
What’s going on???
(DX goes backstage, and they’re all happy to see Tylene around. X-Pac suddenly pauses.)
X-Pac: “Aww man, hey, I got to get to my match. I’ll celebrate with you guys later.)
(X-Pac leaves, and the rest of DX suddenly part ways. They all seem like they’ve got business to take care of. X-Rodd and Buck are walking along, and Kurt Angle suddenly pops out of nowhere! X-Rodd is shocked, but Angle just nods.)
Angle: “Why?”
(X-Rodd doesn’t seem to understand.)
Angle: “WHY did you smile when I won the World title, and what was that LOOK all about!? Are you guys in cahoots… cuz I would like to know.”
(X-Rodd’s face suddenly grows pissed.)
X-Rodd: “Hey Angle… look at the footage, I never said I wanted you win…
(he suddenly smiles)
… but DO have a wonderful day.”
(He walks away, leaving Angle completely confused.)
Angle: “What does ‘being wonderful’ have to do with anything?”
Standard Match
Test vs. X-Pac
(It’s time for X-Pac’s chance to get redemption for the consecutive boots to the face…. But unfortunately he doesn’t get it. Test dominates, and gets to hit another boot to the face. Test wins clean.)
Winner: Test
Undertaken?
(Taker is shown walking towards the ring, doing his fake punches along the way. Suddenly a big shadow passes him by. His body stops, and his eyes dart to him. He shakes his head.)
Taker: “You in the wrong yard, son.”
(End of Scene.)
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