Date Posted:05:36:34 07/10/02 Wed Author:Jim Daher AKA Doomsday & The Union Author Host/IP: cpe-024-095-107-242.midsouth.rr.com / 24.95.107.242 Subject: A few tips from one of the old names around here... In reply to:
The Innovator of Violence
's message, "The Innovator Has Arrived" on 13:09:03 07/05/02 Fri
Okay, here's a few things to try to help you out.
1. The Scene - Sure, an in-ring promo is very acceptable in other e-feds, but in GWA, we don't have house shows, and therefore, no in-ring promos any time except on our weekly program, Insurrection. Try to think of some place besides the ring to set your promo at, such as a bar or a gym, whatever would be most appropriate for your character.
2. The Commentators - Yeah, this is a small one, I know, but we don't use J.R. and The King. Our commentators are Kevin Gaines (the straight man) and Tyrone Tranza (the jive-talking color commentator). Just thought I'd let ya know. ;)
3. Punctuation and Grammar - Again, a small point, but one that needs consideration. After reading through your roleplay, I noticed that on several occasions you neglected to space where necessary, and opted to capitalize where it's unnecessary. Proper punctuation and grammar will do much to make your roleplay a high-quality one.
4. Descriptiveness - Yes, you were moderately descriptive, but not quite. For instance: "a mean look". Just exactly how mean is this look? P.O.'ed? Slightly annoyed? Frightening small children? You are our eyes and ears in your promo. It's up to you describe everything we would see and hear if we were right there standing beside your character. If your character sees it or hears it, we have to. Everything from the color of the trees to the condition of the road you're driving on, if we would see, hear, smell, or feel it in the setting of your promo, describe it for us.
5. HTML Coding - Another small point, yes, but relevent to the quality of your RP. Try to learn some HTML. Images, font colors, different font styles, stuff like that. It makes your roleplay look more professional.
6. The Promo Itself - Hmm...where do I begin? Don't take this the wrong way, but a promo like this just isn't anywhere CLOSE to GWA material. I have no doubt something like this could succeed in a smaller federation, but this is GWA, the Major Leagues, so we hold our roleplayers to a much higher standard. To start with, let's look at the length. If you look at the GWA roleplay board, you'll find that none of the roleplays there all fit in the window. In other words, your promo is about three to ten times too short. B.S. for a few dozen lines if you have to, but this length is more apt to get you laughed at than accepted around here. Now a little about the content of the promo. After reading your promo, all I know about your character is that he likes hardcore matches. Your opening roleplay is supposed to be more than just a quick B.S. session, in and out, wham-bam-thank you-ma'am kinda deal. Your opening roleplay is supposed to introduce us to the character. The opening roleplay is what will determine whether we keep track of your character or hope he drops off the scene altogether. What's his general attitude? Who is he most anxious to pick a fight with? Is he the type to help Grandma cross the street? Or is he more apt to shove her out in front of an oncoming bus? That kinda thing. Look around at some of the roleplays from GWA mainstays like The Circle, Jonathan/John/Johnny!/Johanna Lindsey, "The Eagle" Joey Jackson, and yes, even me. Take note of the way we do things in GWA, adjust your own style, then try again here on the try-out board.
Well, I've yammered on long enough for one day. I hope these tips help you improve enough to be accepted into the GWA.
Cheers,
Jim Daher AKA Doomsday, Doom, Jim "The Icon" Daher, & Sarah
