Author:
Job 3:14
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Date Posted: 16:03:55 02/16/05 Wed
>Hey, does anyone remember if Wonderwoman and He-Man
>had finished decoding that ancient Aztec tablet that
>supposedly contained the plans for a moon-sized laser
>cannon?
No they haven't. Book 892 of the "Massive Sack Attack" series (the latest) suggested that He-Man had been recalled by the new Grayskull Overlord Jisanburro Tookellarious IV to defend his homeland and some of the Grayskull Heights suburbs against Skeletor's new legions of Mecha-Koopas (as we learn in the He-Man Universe, Skeletor has allied with Ludwig van Koopa from the Mario Brothers Universe and has acquired some heinous technology from the Mushroom Kingdom).
So Wonderwoman is basically going it alone with the decoding, though she has enlisted several faculty members from the Department of Ancient Central American Studies at Dicktrickle University to help her with the translating.
>If they did, Supes could build that (the
>"Massive Sack Attack" series of comics suggested that
>Tim Conway and Forrest Whittaker were interested in
>financing such a scheme, if Supes and Batman would
>take charge of the actual construction) and take
>Batman out! Wait a minute, Batman wouldn't help him
>build the thing if it were going to be used against
>him....unless Supes somehow got those telepathic
>cougars from Africannias III to finally take control
>of Batman's mind. Then they could make him build the
>laser---no, they could just make him commit
>suicide.....this is so crazy!
Well, I don't think the telepathic cougars are going to do Supes any good. Batman's newest Mark XXXII suit is lined with aluminum foil which is energized by a 32THz pulse generator. While this gives Batman terrible outbreaks of thyroid cancer (he basically spends his nights hooked up to an anticancer device stolen from the far future by Ollie Queen) it protects him from all manner of telepathic, empathic, protopyschotelepathic, and heterosympathic powers. So those cougars aren't good for much, unless Supes fried 'em up and made cat steaks out of them.
BUT...if Supes were able to convince his contacts at the Bulgarian Ministry of Defense to hire Bruce Wayne's defense corporations to BUILD the laser cannons (with financing being arranged by the Tim Conway/Forrest Whittaker syndicate through Arby's, National Cash Register Corp., Stuckey's Diners, Keenan/Kel Worldwide Distribution, Ltd., and various other money-laundering fronts, of course), then Supes could take over the cannons and turn them on Wayne Manor! It's possible.....but I don't see it happening.
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