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Subject: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Jimmy Olsen
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Date Posted: 18:11:02 07/26/04 Mon

As far as Superman vs. Batman goes, everyone with any real intelligence knows that Batman wouldn't last a microsecond. Superman would crush him easier than he crushed the Hulk, Darkseid, He-Man, Doomsday, Spiderman, need I continue. Batman is way out of his league. And before some dickhead can mention kryptonite, how is it a fair fight when one opponent is severely weakened by the pussy he's fighting. It's easy for Batman to win when he has kryptonite. That's what has saved his homosexual ass all this time. Pulling out his kryptonite ring like a little bitch. What if the situation were reversed, and Superman had Batman severely weakened? Still think that damned pointy-eared freak would win? Everyone knows that Batbitch is out of his league, hell, he even knows it. That's why kryptonite is like an American Express card with him. Don't leave home without it. So in essence, when Batman has drained Superman to near death with his little kryptonite ring, then he would win. But is that what you so-called champions of good want to see. That doesn't surprise me. Your kind treated Jesus the same way. And all he ever did was good. Why would it be different for Superman, a character who lives to help people. He could just as easily use his powers to enslave this planet if he so wanted. There wouldn't be a damned thing Batdick or anyone else could do about it. But a fair fight is exactly that, a fair fight. Superman is just too smart and too powerful for Bathomo to beat. He would die trying. Cheating is the only your guy would stand a chance. But what if Superman woke up one morning and suddenly decided he wanted to play down and dirty too? All it would take is flying into space, grabbing an asteroid, and hurling it at Wayne Manor. Your Batfreak would never knew what hit him. So show some damned respect and recognize superiority when you see it. Long Live Superman!!!!!!!

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Mikael
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Date Posted: 15:58:56 08/19/04 Thu

In response to Jimmy Olsen's "Superman Triumphant". . .

You don't get it. This isn't an story of D.O.A. or Street Fighter. It's not about a match in a ring or a street brawl.
This is, by creation, a world where superman doesn't wake up with the urge to take a leak and start hurlin' asteroids, on Wayne Manor or anything/one else .And it's a world where Batman doesn't need to carry K. around "just in case". If Superman's mental faculties ever degenerated to the point where he became a threat to humanity, or if he ever decided to become a living god on earth, etc., it would be the Bat that takes him out. Even Superman realizes that no one other than Batman has the capacity to fully anticipate him, out-maneuver him, and bring him down.

As far as crime fighting, you can't even compare the two. Superman is a jock. A warm hearted, well-meaning jock. But a jock nonetheless. He's a brawler without actual talent. His tactics are as follows: Get Hit. I mean, his only method of crimefighting is to plant himself in the path of oncoming attack until his opponent gets tired, at which point he gives a lecture on morality. And here's the reality of it. He's treating the symptoms and not the disease. He drags in every two-bit street hood and jaywalker he sees, which has no effect except to show his hand to the higher up criminals in Metropolis. Case in point: Lex Luthor. He's been around forever. Now he's president (or was 'till recently). Superman's never really had the balls to do anything about Lex, except meddle in his schemes and mix things up a bit. Had Lex lived in Gotham city he'd have never made it into Fortune 500, much less the American Gov. Look what happened the one time he tried to move into Gotham (NML). He was neutered and sent packing by Batman. Something ol' Blue Boy has never managed to do yet. Repeat: Superman treats symptoms. Batman fights the disease at it's origins. It's kinda funny, but on nine occasions Superman has floundered into Gotham, only to foul up Batman's Op's, that are typically too intricate for Supes to grasp. Batman keeps having to patiently explain to him exactly why he's a moron and repeatedly invite him to get the hell out of Gotham.

A couple of comparisons of the two:
- S's motivation: A boyscout sense of justice, and it goes no deeper than that. He grew up on a farm. He has no connection to what he does. He's an overgrown, bulletproof kid, with a heart bursting to love everyone, good and bad.
- B's motivation: He was bred from crime. It's why he exists at all. He loathed his own and the worlds inability to stop it. Every night is one more step in his own, and Gotham's, pilgrimmage to salvation.

- S's master: Any civil servant who cares to give him an order. "Yes Sir!, Mr. President, Mr. Congressman, Mr. Policeman, Mr. Traffic Guard! Whatever you say sir!
- B's master: His knowledge. His training. His perceptions. Himself.

- S's courage: It's pretty high I admit. Doomsday was one helluva fight. But it's a brawlers courage. It's neither focused nor disciplined.
- B's courage: As intense as sunlight. Practical and trained courage. He's a man doing a job. Unlike Superman he's good enough where most confrontations don't end in his having to take a bullet. But when you get down to it, who's got more guts, the guy with impervious skin or the one with mesh kevlar?

Y'know, this comparison could go on forever, and the scales just aren't goin' to tip in Supes favor.

On a personal note, I, and the majority of other readers, have found your evaluation of the controversey to be childish and unnecessarily dramatic. Just like Blue Boy, you need to learn to THINK. . . (jock).

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[> [> Subject: Re: THE POWER OF MONEY


Author:
SMalldeath
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Date Posted: 01:52:33 01/20/05 Thu

the fact that batman has no super powers is false he has one GIANT super power, and that is the power of cold hard cash. He's a millionaire and owns a corparation, he has an ulimited amount of resources that would wear superman down.

ps jeez jimmy personal attacks aint soo smart, just a friendly conversation right?

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[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Mikael
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Date Posted: 16:05:26 08/19/04 Thu

What is up with your preoccupation with homosexuality? You got some issues you need to talk through?

And seriously nothing's gayer than a man with blue tights and red panties over them. In public. During the day.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
jimmyolsen
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Date Posted: 01:20:55 08/23/04 Mon

No asshole there's nothing gayer than a fully grown man giving spankings to Robin in the batcave as evidenced in the early Batman comics. You know he's a fag, you just don't want to admit it. Maybe you have some issues of your own Mikael. And don't ever attempt to explain Superman to me. It is you who don't know the character. Batman has the means to take Superman down only because Superman gave him the means to do it. DONT YOU EVER FORGET THAT!!!!!!!!!!!! If Superman's a jock, that would make Batman a nerd like you huh? I guess that's why you like that clown so much. If you weren't spending your free time slinging mud at a national treasure like Superman, you'd be wise enough to notice that Batbrains wears black panties on the outside of his damned costume. How the hell could Batman defeat someone who has the intelligence of a computer, and processes shit faster than we do. He moves faster than a freaking bullet, and is the strongest man alive. Hmmmmm, let's see, intelligence, speed, and strength. Looks like it's armageddon for Batbrains.

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
jimmyolsen
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Date Posted: 01:23:25 08/23/04 Mon

>No asshole there's nothing gayer than a fully grown
>man giving spankings to Robin in the batcave as
>evidenced in the early Batman comics. You know he's a
>fag, you just don't want to admit it. Maybe you have
>some issues of your own Mikael. And don't ever attempt
>to explain Superman to me. It is you who don't know
>the character. Batman has the means to take Superman
>down only because Superman gave him the means to do
>it. DONT YOU EVER FORGET THAT!!!!!!!!!!!! If
>Superman's a jock, that would make Batman a nerd like
>you huh? I guess that's why you like that clown so
>much. If you weren't spending your free time slinging
>mud at a national treasure like Superman, you'd be
>wise enough to notice that Batbrains wears black
>panties on the outside of his damned costume. How the
>hell could Batman defeat someone who has the
>intelligence of a computer, and processes shit faster
>than we do. He moves faster than a freaking bullet,
>and is the strongest man alive. Hmmmmm, let's see,
>intelligence, speed, and strength. Looks like it's
>armageddon for Batbrains.

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Buttchapper
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Date Posted: 07:29:30 08/24/04 Tue

>No asshole there's nothing gayer than a fully grown
>man giving spankings to Robin in the batcave as
>evidenced in the early Batman comics. You know he's a
>fag, you just don't want to admit it.

Wow, Mr. Olson, I sense some harsh language that is, quite frankly, not needed. I don't know about you, but the bigger question is, who is better, Superman or Dolph Lundgren? Yes, Superman is powerful, but he tends to rely on his superhuman abilities and not on his intellect, as Mikael pointed out. But Dolph is a true mental warrior, through and through. He alone has the strength, courage, and talent to defeat an enemy using only the gifts that God gave him. I challenge you to prove me wrong, Jimmy.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
jimmyolsen
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Date Posted: 01:29:37 08/23/04 Mon

Well, I'm not the one calling you names you damned hypocrite. You want to talk childish to me? And the reason the majority of your readers disagree with me is that they are all Batman fans. Lets take this over to the Superman message boards. We'll cream a pussy like you Mikael. Sounds like you're Russian anyway. Get your ass back behind that iron curtain and stay there!!!!!

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[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
andrew
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Date Posted: 22:47:51 08/23/04 Mon

okay first of all jimmy olsen calm down batman is not gay he's a bachelor and he is ric therfore he is probably getting more ass than anyone in dc universe well next to ollie queen okay? now supes can never beat bat completely oh and his kryptonite ring is not cheating it's common sense a human can't destroy a tank with his bare hands even if supes let loose and tries to take over bat's has allies and support hmm captain marvel rings a bell the only man who can couter superman's every move if not him zantanna i think her name is isn't supes vulnerable to magic yea supes would loose believe me and understand YOU CAN'T BEAT BATMAN!

by the way superman is'nt a hero well maybe because he has all those morals but if u can't be harmed how is that heroic while batman goes home with bruses and broken bones every night who is the better man
if superman was really superman there would be no need for batman.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
JimmyOlsen
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Date Posted: 01:42:06 08/24/04 Tue

Ok first of all, you calm down ANDREW!!!!! And second, you tell yourself whatever the hell you want, but Batman is as gay as they get. If you can't see it, maybe you two have something in common. Do your research asswipe. It is a known fact that Batman used to give spankings to Robin on his birthday. You can dispute it all you like, but the book exists. If you keep pushing the issue, I'll make an even bigger ass out of you by giving you the issue of that comic. Now my question is this, how is Batman spanking Robin any different from Michael Jackson sleeping in the same bed with little boys? If you can honestly differentiate the two, you're even sicker than I thought ANDREW!!!! My point is that there wasn't a single person that didn't think michael Jackson wasn't gay after that. And here you have a fully grown man with a fetish for black tights, spanking a kid that isn't even his!!!!! I'll bet that if Batman was sleeping in the same bed with little boys, you'd find a way to defend that too. Sicko!!! Now on to the debate. Yes my friend it is cheating when batman pulls the old kryptonite card and plays it. If that's the only way he can win, then your own damn common sense should tell you that a puny mortal like that has no business fighting Superman in the first place. If Batman is so freaking tough, where the hell was he when Doomsday killed Superman? Answer me that one freak. If Batman is better than Superman as you say, he should been more than capable of stepping in and stopping Doomsday all by himself. Yeah, right!!!! The little freak wouldn't survive the first punch Doomsday threw at him. The wind from the punch alone would knock his puny ass down. A fair fight between Superman and Batman is not Batman bringing kryptonite to the party. Where in the hell did you learn to fight, from reading comic books? A fair fight is both opponents in tip top shape, and going all out in a no-holds barred fight. Doomsday didn't need kryptonite. He fought Superman the honorable way. Even though the fight ended in a draw, I still have respect for Doomsday. He didn't bitch out like Batman and use kryptonite. Since Batman can't be pulled away from his pretty little kryptonite ring without kicking and screaming, I have the perfect match for you. Let him keep his ring, after all girls love their jewelry anyway. Let's have Batman and all the kryptonite in the galaxy face off against the Kingdom Come Superman. If you're not intelligent enough to know what I'm getting at, the Kingdom Come Superman is the one that was totally immune to kryptonite. Let's see how long your freakish Batman lasts now. Now that his toys have been neutralized. I say Superman punches through his chest fast enough to show the bastard his own beating heart before he dies. And don't you ever presume to tell me about heroes. Superman is the epitome of heroism. He made a choice voluntarily, I might add to use his power for good. he could easily rule this planet, and nobody could ever stop him. Keep in mind that it was Superman that gave Batman the damn kryptonite in the first place. Only real heroes do that. You don't ever recall Batman giving Superman anything to weaken and kill him do you? Of course not, he's a coward. There's nothing heroic about a grown man dressing up as a bat to scare thugs in an alley. Superman has saved the world assface. More times than I can count. Hell, more times than your dumb ass can count. What has Batman done to even come close to saving the world? Oh right, he apprehended the fucking Joker last night. Big ass deal!!!!! If you don't know what the hell you're talking about, stay the hell off these message boards. You sound like a fucking nine year old anyway!!!

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Anduin
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Date Posted: 02:39:46 08/24/04 Tue

Whew, first of all Jimmy, let me just say that the fight that you have brought through the threshold of this forum is a battle that is worthy only to be fought by titans!! Hurling such firey, and original insults such as "Asshole" and "Dickhead" clearly gives you the upper hand in this verbal crossfire! How do these other people stand up against you in this forum??? Hoo boy, if the "Batfreak" were pitted against YOU one on one, he would probably just run back home to the bat cave in tears from hearing such stinging insults. And to think that people actually come to THIS board, thinking that they are intitled to thier own opinions!! Oh man, are they fooling themselves.

Listen Jimmy, your argument here has little to no substance, and you clearly have a fixation with homosexuality. First of all, let me ask you where you get off just showing up here, slinging your crap on this board like your viewpoint is the only one that matters? This forum was undoubtedly designed to promote a discussion of OPINIONS about FICTIONAL CHARACTERS, and you have taken it upon yourself to turn it into a flame board. You've obviously got some serious personal security issues if you're taking so much personal offense at sombody disagreeing with your opinion, let alone attacking your idol. Every other one of these posts on this page is trying to rationalize an opinoin, and you have merely been slinging crappy and shallow insults left and right. The crap you have spewed on this thread his hardly that of a person of intelligence... you could be more likened to a dog that has thrown up, and then staunchly defends his vomit when his owner tries to clean it up. Let me now take this time to expose a flaw in your argument. You've been violently pushing this idea of "Fair fighting" between the two combatants, and you absolutely insist that If Batman diddn't use kryptonite that the odds would be evened. Tell me, wouldn't it be more even if Superman diddn't have any powers too... hmm??? Pitted against one another on those terms, it would really boil down to who had the better knowledge of fighting technique. OOHHH but you would say that superman should be allowed to use his powers, wouldn't you?? Well then, if that's the case... and I realize that i'm putting words in your mouth here, Then why the hell shouldn't batman use kryptonite???? It's like two armies getting ready to do battle. if the only objective is to win, and If one military placement has a serious weakness, the other would be a fool not to exploit it.

So my advice to you, Jim ol' boy, is If you want people to respect your opinions then you've got to respect thiers. So sit your ass down, have some dip, and chill out, cause blowing off your excess steam here is not doing anybody any good. I'm going to quote you replying to Andrew saying, "Do your research, asswipe." All I can say to you is, do YOUR research, then wipe your ass, cause right now, you're about as full of shite as they come.

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[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Anduin
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Date Posted: 02:38:24 08/24/04 Tue

Whew, first of all Jimmy, let me just say that the fight that you have brought through the threshold of this forum is a battle that is worthy only to be fought by titans!! Hurling such firey, and original insults such as "Asshole" and "Dickhead" clearly gives you the upper hand in this verbal crossfire! How do these other people stand up against you in this forum??? Hoo boy, if the "Batfreak" were pitted against YOU one on one, he would probably just run back home to the bat cave in tears from hearing such stinging insults. And to think that people actually come to THIS board, thinking that they are intitled to thier own opinions!! Oh man, are they fooling themselves.

Listen Jimmy, your argument here has little to no substance, and you clearly have a fixation with homosexuality. First of all, let me ask you where you get off just showing up here, slinging your crap on this board like your viewpoint is the only one that matters? This forum was undoubtedly designed to promote a discussion of OPINIONS about FICTIONAL CHARACTERS, and you have taken it upon yourself to turn it into a flame board. You've obviously got some serious personal security issues if you're taking so much personal offense at sombody disagreeing with your opinion, let alone attacking your idol. Every other one of these posts on this page is trying to rationalize an opinoin, and you have merely been slinging crappy and shallow insults left and right. The crap you have spewed on this thread his hardly that of a person of intelligence... you could be more likened to a dog that has thrown up, and then staunchly defends his vomit when his owner tries to clean it up. Let me now take this time to expose a flaw in your argument. You've been violently pushing this idea of "Fair fighting" between the two combatants, and you absolutely insist that If Batman diddn't use kryptonite that the odds would be evened. Tell me, wouldn't it be more even if Superman diddn't have any powers too... hmm??? Pitted against one another on those terms, it would really boil down to who had the better knowledge of fighting technique. OOHHH but you would say that superman should be allowed to use his powers, wouldn't you?? Well then, if that's the case... and I realize that i'm putting words in your mouth here, Then why the hell shouldn't batman use kryptonite???? It's like two armies getting ready to do battle. if the only objective is to win, and If one military placement has a serious weakness, the other would be a fool not to exploit it.

So my advice to you, Jim ol' boy, is If you want people to respect your opinions then you've got to respect thiers. So sit your ass down, have some dip, and chill out, cause blowing off your excess steam here is not doing anybody any good. I'm going to quote you replying to Andrew saying, "Do your research, asswipe." All I can say to you is, do YOUR research, then wipe your ass, cause right now, you're about as full of shite as they come.

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[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Vasily1917
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Date Posted: 05:26:38 08/24/04 Tue

Jimmy Olsen, I have beheld your creative majesty and was awestruck. Obviously a rhetorician of your caliber is having his abilities atrophy on a topic of this mundane nature. I was absolutely won over by you gay argument regarding Batman. It was a missive of such great power that I don’t see any way of refuting your reasonable argument over a fake scenario, you have truly set up a brick wall.
Seriously I find it utterly hilarious that you seem to have this superior ire about yourself, and I am struggling to find out where it is coming from. You seem to imagine your self king of a fictitious realm, spouting out stats about a FAKE scenario regarding FAKE characters, misleading yourself into thinking that you have some control over an argument that is designed to entertain “SANE” comic enthusiasts. You know sane in the fact that they are not preoccupied with the anus, or with child molestation. When in actuality you sit upon your sperm crusted ergonomic throne surrounded by you “Justice League” cardboard cut outs (All with holes sawn into their rear ends for your satisfaction) pounding out you hatful diatribes whilst you consult the Homo-erotic lithographs you own, depicting the Flash cleaning out Dolph Lundgren, in an attempt to insult people who are engaged in this discussion strictly for entertainment purposes. Honestly if all of your post were meant to strictly insult people could you at lest try and broaden your insults out a bit. Or has your fellatio addled mind rendered you incapable of doing so.
Oh and one more thing, not being a comic man myself and since you where discussing which character looks more queer. I would have to say that greased coif and crotch augmenting banana warmer that Super man sports are more tell tale signs of a character who dreams of having his anus riffled by another man, just an outsider’s opinion.
And Olsen, real classy Russian slur you had against Mikeal. If I were to use the same model for insults, I would admonish you to flee back to what ever fjord you came from and go back to mouthing Sven the Longshoreman’s sack, Just a suggestion.
.
>What if the situation were reversed, and Superman had
>Batman severely weakened? Still think that damned
>pointy-eared freak would win? Everyone knows that
>Batbitch is out of his league, hell, he even knows it.
>That's why kryptonite is like an American Express card
>with him. Don't leave home without it. So in essence,
>when Batman has drained Superman to near death with
>his little kryptonite ring, then he would win. But is
>that what you so-called champions of good want to see.
>That doesn't surprise me. Your kind treated Jesus the
>same way. And all he ever did was good. Why would it
>be different for Superman, a character who lives to
>help people. He could just as easily use his powers to
>enslave this planet if he so wanted. There wouldn't be
>a damned thing Batdick or anyone else could do about
>it. But a fair fight is exactly that, a fair fight.
>Superman is just too smart and too powerful for
>Bathomo to beat. He would die trying. Cheating is the
>only your guy would stand a chance. But what if
>Superman woke up one morning and suddenly decided he
>wanted to play down and dirty too? All it would take
>is flying into space, grabbing an asteroid, and
>hurling it at Wayne Manor. Your Batfreak would never
>knew what hit him. So show some damned respect and
>recognize superiority when you see it. Long Live
>Superman!!!!!!!

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[> [> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
man of steel
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 14:59:41 02/08/05 Tue

>Jimmy Olsen, I have beheld your creative majesty and
>was awestruck. Obviously a rhetorician of your caliber
>is having his abilities atrophy on a topic of this
>mundane nature. I was absolutely won over by you gay
>argument regarding Batman. It was a missive of such
>great power that I don’t see any way of refuting your
>reasonable argument over a fake scenario, you have
>truly set up a brick wall.
> Seriously I find it utterly hilarious that you seem
>to have this superior ire about yourself, and I am
>struggling to find out where it is coming from. You
>seem to imagine your self king of a fictitious realm,
>spouting out stats about a FAKE scenario regarding
>FAKE characters, misleading yourself into thinking
>that you have some control over an argument that is
>designed to entertain “SANE” comic enthusiasts. You
>know sane in the fact that they are not preoccupied
>with the anus, or with child molestation. When in
>actuality you sit upon your sperm crusted ergonomic
>throne surrounded by you “Justice League” cardboard
>cut outs (All with holes sawn into their rear ends for
>your satisfaction) pounding out you hatful diatribes
>whilst you consult the Homo-erotic lithographs you
>own, depicting the Flash cleaning out Dolph Lundgren,
>in an attempt to insult people who are engaged in this
>discussion strictly for entertainment purposes.
>Honestly if all of your post were meant to strictly
>insult people could you at lest try and broaden your
>insults out a bit. Or has your fellatio addled mind
>rendered you incapable of doing so.
>Oh and one more thing, not being a comic man myself
>and since you where discussing which character looks
>more queer. I would have to say that greased coif and
>crotch augmenting banana warmer that Super man sports
>are more tell tale signs of a character who dreams of
>having his anus riffled by another man, just an
>outsider’s opinion.
>And Olsen, real classy Russian slur you had against
>Mikeal. If I were to use the same model for insults, I
>would admonish you to flee back to what ever fjord you
>came from and go back to mouthing Sven the
>Longshoreman’s sack, Just a suggestion.
>.
>>What if the situation were reversed, and Superman had
>>Batman severely weakened? Still think that damned
>>pointy-eared freak would win? Everyone knows that
>>Batbitch is out of his league, hell, he even knows it.
>>That's why kryptonite is like an American Express card
>>with him. Don't leave home without it. So in essence,
>>when Batman has drained Superman to near death with
>>his little kryptonite ring, then he would win. But is
>>that what you so-called champions of good want to see.
>>That doesn't surprise me. Your kind treated Jesus the
>>same way. And all he ever did was good. Why would it
>>be different for Superman, a character who lives to
>>help people. He could just as easily use his powers to
>>enslave this planet if he so wanted. There wouldn't be
>>a damned thing Batdick or anyone else could do about
>>it. But a fair fight is exactly that, a fair fight.
>>Superman is just too smart and too powerful for
>>Bathomo to beat. He would die trying. Cheating is the
>>only your guy would stand a chance. But what if
>>Superman woke up one morning and suddenly decided he
>>wanted to play down and dirty too? All it would take
>>is flying into space, grabbing an asteroid, and
>>hurling it at Wayne Manor. Your Batfreak would never
>>knew what hit him. So show some damned respect and
>>recognize superiority when you see it. Long Live
>>Superman!!!!!!!

dear vasily1917,
here is something that puzzles me: exactly why would u go around insulting people with imaginations wen u r just sitting around thinking of superman and all the other comic heroes being fags. why does that seem to be the only thing running through ur mind? is that YOUR dream? cus its not supermans as u say u think. shows how much u know about superman. preaking of which, y do u talk shit of something u r unfirmiliar with? y r u even on this website if u rent a comic fan. do u get ur jollies off the pictures on the front page? i just cant seem to understand ur actions. i think u shud just stay in ur mothers basement and not say anything. DONT MESS WITH THE MAN OF STEEL!!!!!!!!!!!

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[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Buttchapper
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Date Posted: 07:36:28 08/24/04 Tue

>Hell, more times than your dumb ass can count. What has >Batman done to even come close to saving the world? Oh >right, he apprehended the fucking Joker last night. Big ass >deal!!!!! If you don't know what the hell you're talking >about, stay the hell off these message boards. You sound >like a fucking nine year old anyway!!!

Listen, you sack-shaving imbecile, obviously your knowledge of Batman is weaker than Jack Black's knowledge of comedy. You are forgetting the "Fiery Apocalypse" series of Batman comics when a deranged Fatty Arbuckle attempted to use the Nutritron-6000 Traction Beam to drag the Earth into the Sun unless people elected him the Global Emperor of Humor. AS YOU OBVIOUSLY FORGOT, NUTCLEANER, it was BATMAN, NOT SUPERMAN, who thwarted this nefarious scheme. Superman was busy getting crotch-enhancing liners put into his pants so he'd look more manly.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
DolphTakesTwoBaby
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Date Posted: 19:21:24 08/26/04 Thu

>Listen, you sack-shaving imbecile, obviously your
>knowledge of Batman is weaker than Jack Black's
>knowledge of comedy. You are forgetting the "Fiery
>Apocalypse" series of Batman comics when a deranged
>Fatty Arbuckle attempted to use the Nutritron-6000
>Traction Beam to drag the Earth into the Sun unless
>people elected him the Global Emperor of Humor. AS
>YOU OBVIOUSLY FORGOT, NUTCLEANER, it was BATMAN, NOT
>SUPERMAN, who thwarted this nefarious scheme.
>Superman was busy getting crotch-enhancing liners put
>into his pants so he'd look more manly.

Well, Buttchapper, I believe that you are incorrect. The "Fiery Apocalypse" series of comics was set in the BozMan universe, where Captain Skaggs and the Troubador Legion stopped Fatty Arbuckle's diabolical plans. What you wanted was the "Hand of Armageddon" series, where Batman stopped the A-Team, resurrected as demons by Dark Viscount Satan LaThekrites, from unleashing power of the Flaming Jewel of Diotrophes, a relic so powerful that it could have wiped out the entire solar system. The series ended with a cataclysmic battle among Batman, a very demonic Mr. T (who said "I pity the fool that gets sent to hell!"), and a reanimated Generalissimo Franco who was inserted into a 6,000-mile-tall mechanized fighting shell. It was crazy, but Batman managed to save the day and send the A-Team back to Hell and the Franco-Mecha into orbit, where he floats to this day adrift in the cosmos.

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[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Sven the Longshoreman
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Date Posted: 02:54:48 08/31/04 Tue

And just when things were getting interesting. Where'd you go Jimmy? I could use a hearty choad basting right about now.

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[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Anus Smite the Antagonist
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Date Posted: 03:46:17 08/31/04 Tue

NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOO! Both of you penile pontiffs have it wrong, both of the series to which you both refer to are part of a supper series known as "Multi-verse Wars". In which has many settings pitting alternate universes from pop culture against one another. Perhaps you have forgotten the story. Remember it centers on a galactic policing guild, the Galactic League of Aliens and non-aligned Supers heroes or G.L.A.N.S for short, which is beleaguered by multi-verse incursions which were sported by the Armand ZAPPAVERSE. Apparently galaxies and universes were being subjugated to a dark force of sub par comedy. So in response G.L.A.N.S sends a commission to the governments of Earth in order to enlist the aid of Super Man. As any comic aficionados remembers, the first arch in this super series was referred to as the "S-Man and Ego Waffle Accords", a 57 serial comic series which centers around the fierce negations between the GLANS commission and the Earth's elected supreme negotiator, the inestimable Don Johnson. In Books 1-25 the story reaches its first climax when Mr. Johnson lays out his 5,000 point resolution. Ranging in issues from Having episodes of Miami vice reruns non stop on intergalactic television to the intergalactic marketing and franchising of his restaurants, "'Big'Johson's Don Dogs" after many pages of the GLANS commission trying to contain their vomit they (GLANS) agrees to Johnson's term, but only on the condition that they would have a sizable steak in the George Peppard Heavy Industrial and Waffle concern, after many more pages of fierce negation these terms were met and superman was released to GLANS service. However, the reaming comics in this series were less popular, for issues 26-57 depicted a triumphant Johnson trolling local bars for women making inappropriate propositions and the result of which has him being drawn and quartered by a Lynch mob.
The Super series continues as Superman is first pitted off against the Lorne Greene verse, in which superman must battle his way through a massive army of Darkness championed by the Galactic Emperor Tim Conway. In an epic battle Supes battle Imperator Conway and his army of Conan O’Brien Gladiator Droids. A battle that resulted in a draw and Super man being expelled to the Batman universe where the battered superman is found by Bruce Wayne, given robotic prosthetics and renamed from Super man to “The Iron Penage”, both of the heroes returned to the Greene verse and decapitated Emperor Conway as he sat and reviewed O’Brien’s rendition of Porgy and Bess.
Look I can go on and on but this who essay proves you both wrong. It was both heroes who worked to save the universe not just one. So next time you shaft duelers feel like posting your crap here remember that there is a community of people here that know a whole lot more about this stuff than you. SO why don't you stupid child molesters go back to examine you Ziggy does Dallas Comics, while the rest of us get back to the meat of this discussion.

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[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
spankeedaclown
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Date Posted: 16:38:51 10/11/04 Mon

i agree.. superman beats batman by a landslide. this is how i compare them

superman batman
flys > uses his belt gadget
has super strength >= works out
christopher reeves =< george clooney
handles it alone > has robin
reflects bullets > has bulletproof armor

any other things i cant think of now
i say superman is better always and forever even though batman has cool gadgets. superman also does anything for the woman he loves and i dont see batman doing that.

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[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Gaza Diggz
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Date Posted: 00:06:31 10/26/04 Tue

Well, if we're going to compare superheroes, let's do it the RIGHT way.

Superman / Batman / Admiral Flutelance

Flies / uses his belt gadget / Hovers using his farts
has super strength / works out / kills with a single fart
Christopher Reeves / George Clooney / Drew Carey (in 2006)
Handles it alone / Has Robin / Allows his farts to speak for him
Reflects bullets / has bulletproof armor / His farts melt bullets within nanoseconds

So there you have it. There's no comparison.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Giancarlo
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Date Posted: 12:25:13 12/28/04 Tue

Just wanted to leave something clear:
George Clooney is really far from being batman. He´s movie was an insult to batman, the only person in the planet who deserves to be called batman is michael keaton, nobody else.

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[> Subject: What's with the bad language?


Author:
Kimmy
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Date Posted: 14:09:09 10/28/04 Thu

What's with the bad language? Using those words don't make you credible at all... they only make you sound like you're whining and like you're pathetic and can't think of anything logical to say.

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[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
J to the DQ
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Date Posted: 21:19:49 10/28/04 Thu

> What's with the bad language? Using those words don't make you credible at all... they only make you sound like you're whining and like you're pathetic and can't think of anything logical to say.

I agree. I think that Jimmy Olson is a wang enthusiast who, like our old buddies Willgraham and Zee, resorts to foul language when his brain has stopped working.

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[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Willgraham
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Date Posted: 20:09:50 10/29/04 Fri

You COWARDS! You cannot come up with anything original! You just take the piss out with good stars! You are so unoriginal, and both Superman and Dolph are boss to the max!

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[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Giancarlo
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Date Posted: 12:13:55 12/28/04 Tue

Of course superman could crush batman any second, but that´s just because he´s come from another planet and has the best super powers... bla, bla, bla... and there´s no fun in that. But then there´s batman, a regular guy, just like any other guy, the only one with no super powers in the justice league, which is what makes him sooo cool. Superman doesn´t even know how to fight, without his powers he´s nobody, unlike batman who is an expert in martial arts. Batman is way smarter, he doesn´t need any super powers to stand up to any villain, or to superman. I´m not going to mention kryptonite because then superman couldn´t even beat me, but batman doesn´t need a stupid little green rock to outsmart superman. I don´t really like to discuss who would win in a fight. I´d like to say batman since he´s my favorite, but I don´t care because they´re both "good guys", I just think batman is the best. I don´t hate superman, but batman is way cooler

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[> [> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Captain Huffer
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Date Posted: 13:18:17 02/01/05 Tue

>Of course superman could crush batman any second

See, I don't think so. Don't you remember "The Abominable Hand-towel" series of comics? Batman used his Protoglazer pistol and decimated Superman's archnemisis, The Chizz. It was over in seconds. And if Batman could wipe out the Chizz, there's no WAY Supes could stand up to him.

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[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
J to the DQ
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Date Posted: 08:38:06 02/11/05 Fri

But what if
>Superman woke up one morning and suddenly decided he
>wanted to play down and dirty too? All it would take
>is flying into space, grabbing an asteroid, and
>hurling it at Wayne Manor. Your Batfreak would never
>knew what hit him. So show some damned respect and
>recognize superiority when you see it. Long Live
>Superman!!!!!!!

What if he did? First of all, he'd have to fly all the way to the Asteroid Belt to get one, unless there just happens to be one floating by Earth (and btw, one won't pass Earth until 2029). Even at Superman's amazing speed of "faster than a speeding bullet" (let's say three times the speed of a bullet, or a total of 1.65 mi/s, assuming a standard 0.22 rifle muzzle speed of 2900 ft/s), it would take "Supes" 2.17 years just to reach the Asteroid Belt. Can he stay in space that long? He'd be gone a total of about 4.3 years, assuming he can sustain his fantastic speed.

Personally, I think Supes should just fly out West and pick up a boulder out of a canyon. That seems a whole lot easier.

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[> [> Subject: I don't think so, doofus


Author:
Gianni Olsoni
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Date Posted: 08:56:41 02/11/05 Fri

>
>What if he did? First of all, he'd have to fly all
>the way to the Asteroid Belt to get one, unless there
>just happens to be one floating by Earth (and btw, one
>won't pass Earth until 2029).
Ha, you ignorant moron, you forgot that Superman can GENERATE an asteroid out of thin air! Don't you remember the "Degenerate Helix" series of comics when Supes, Colonel Foambuns, and Aquaman captured that asteroid-generating complex that the Pooviniians had set up on the Moon? Supes kept the controls to that and he can manufacture asteroids at will! So he doesn't need to fly to the Asteroid Belt! God, you ignorant swantoon, read your comics!

>Even at Superman's
>amazing speed of "faster than a speeding bullet"
>(let's say three times the speed of a bullet, or a
>total of 1.65 mi/s, assuming a standard 0.22 rifle
>muzzle speed of 2900 ft/s), it would take "Supes" 2.17
>years just to reach the Asteroid Belt. Can he stay in
>space that long? He'd be gone a total of about 4.3
>years, assuming he can sustain his fantastic speed.
Supes has infinite power. He could fly there in 0.1 microseconds if he wanted to. He could make the Sun explode just by thinking about it.

>
>Personally, I think Supes should just fly out West and
>pick up a boulder out of a canyon. That seems a whole
>lot easier.
Yeah, your mom's a lot easier too. Take that! Ooooh, chapped your butt! Har har har!

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[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
J to the DQ
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Date Posted: 15:18:55 02/11/05 Fri

First of all, nice cheapshot there, Gianni Olsoni. Why don't you go cram a ham up yer chute? There, I just broasted your cheeks!

Second, Superman does NOT control the Pooviniian Asteroid Generator. That was destroyed by Lex Luthor and the International Brotherhood of Nefarious Schemes! IBNS sent a delegation (consisting of Tom Green, the Righetous Brothers, and a computerized robot pretending to be Pope Pius XI) to request Luthor's assistance in wiping out the generator. Remember, you turdburgler, Luthor and INBS had just developed a Flavian Pobble Bead Processing Unit, which would be rendered obsolete by an asteroid generator. So they built a squadron of Star Super-galleons, complete with massive solar sails, star anchors, and 190mm musket cannons, to wipe out the facility. They succeeded.

So, you douche-eater, Supes would have to retrieve an asteroid from the belt to wipe out Batman....unless! Hey, does anyone remember if Wonderwoman and He-Man had finished decoding that ancient Aztec tablet that supposedly contained the plans for a moon-sized laser cannon? If they did, Supes could build that (the "Massive Sack Attack" series of comics suggested that Tim Conway and Forrest Whittaker were interested in financing such a scheme, if Supes and Batman would take charge of the actual construction) and take Batman out! Wait a minute, Batman wouldn't help him build the thing if it were going to be used against him....unless Supes somehow got those telepathic cougars from Africannias III to finally take control of Batman's mind. Then they could make him build the laser---no, they could just make him commit suicide.....this is so crazy!

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[> [> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Job 3:14
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Date Posted: 16:03:55 02/16/05 Wed

>Hey, does anyone remember if Wonderwoman and He-Man
>had finished decoding that ancient Aztec tablet that
>supposedly contained the plans for a moon-sized laser
>cannon?
No they haven't. Book 892 of the "Massive Sack Attack" series (the latest) suggested that He-Man had been recalled by the new Grayskull Overlord Jisanburro Tookellarious IV to defend his homeland and some of the Grayskull Heights suburbs against Skeletor's new legions of Mecha-Koopas (as we learn in the He-Man Universe, Skeletor has allied with Ludwig van Koopa from the Mario Brothers Universe and has acquired some heinous technology from the Mushroom Kingdom).
So Wonderwoman is basically going it alone with the decoding, though she has enlisted several faculty members from the Department of Ancient Central American Studies at Dicktrickle University to help her with the translating.

>If they did, Supes could build that (the
>"Massive Sack Attack" series of comics suggested that
>Tim Conway and Forrest Whittaker were interested in
>financing such a scheme, if Supes and Batman would
>take charge of the actual construction) and take
>Batman out! Wait a minute, Batman wouldn't help him
>build the thing if it were going to be used against
>him....unless Supes somehow got those telepathic
>cougars from Africannias III to finally take control
>of Batman's mind. Then they could make him build the
>laser---no, they could just make him commit
>suicide.....this is so crazy!

Well, I don't think the telepathic cougars are going to do Supes any good. Batman's newest Mark XXXII suit is lined with aluminum foil which is energized by a 32THz pulse generator. While this gives Batman terrible outbreaks of thyroid cancer (he basically spends his nights hooked up to an anticancer device stolen from the far future by Ollie Queen) it protects him from all manner of telepathic, empathic, protopyschotelepathic, and heterosympathic powers. So those cougars aren't good for much, unless Supes fried 'em up and made cat steaks out of them.

BUT...if Supes were able to convince his contacts at the Bulgarian Ministry of Defense to hire Bruce Wayne's defense corporations to BUILD the laser cannons (with financing being arranged by the Tim Conway/Forrest Whittaker syndicate through Arby's, National Cash Register Corp., Stuckey's Diners, Keenan/Kel Worldwide Distribution, Ltd., and various other money-laundering fronts, of course), then Supes could take over the cannons and turn them on Wayne Manor! It's possible.....but I don't see it happening.

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[> Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant


Author:
Doug Bixby
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Date Posted: 18:43:50 02/14/05 Mon

>As far as Superman vs. Batman goes, everyone with any
>real intelligence knows that Batman wouldn't last a
>microsecond. Superman would crush him easier than he
>crushed the Hulk, Darkseid, He-Man, Doomsday,
>Spiderman, need I continue.

Let's review your list of people that Superman "supposedly" decimated.

The Hulk: Few know that, at the time of the crossover, the Hulk was unknowingly being injected with Hooficlor, a potent reagent that was causing him to lose strength. So, this "decisive" victory for Superman was really the result of drugs.

Darkseid: Darkseid doesn't exist! He's nothing but the figment of the imagination of Dr. Ulross Sklǿr, a Danish astrophysicist who went insane. Locked in his cell deep within the dungeons of the Northern European Institute for Severe Mental Disorders (NEISMED), he spends his days inventing crazy things and scribbling nonsensical equations. Eventually he took on the alter ego of Darkseid. His "battle" with Superman was imagined, part of an MI-5 experiment with psychoactive drugs. The experiment was a failure and was terminated in 2001.

He-Man: As you no doubt remember, Skeletor was controlling Superman at the time. Skeletor was using an Expitron 9500 telepathic manipulation projector to control Supes. The Expitron also has the habit of stimulating the production of adrenaline within its target, so Superman was far stronger than normal. Plus, He-man had been shot several times with a pistol prior to the fight to make him lose. The artists simply didn't draw the bleeding holes all over his torso.

Spiderman: No, he didn't! Superman talked Spiderman out of fighting and the two ended up teaming up. But what we didn't know is that in the alternate ending (in the "Horrific Destiny" comic, which was never published) Spiderman, for Round 2, had a specially modified Grapniog Pulse Pistol. A single shot from this weapon, even on setting 1.2 (Ultralow), would be capable of knocking Neptune out of its orbit! Of course, had Spidey deployed this fearsome weapon, it would have meant the end of life as we know it, but no doubt Supes would have been toast as well.

So yes, you ignorant fartshack, you NEED to continue. Your so-called victories for Supes are no proof at all!

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