| Subject: Re: Superman Triumphant |
Author:
Doug Bixby
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Date Posted: 18:43:50 02/14/05 Mon
In reply to:
Jimmy Olsen
's message, "Superman Triumphant" on 18:11:02 07/26/04 Mon
>As far as Superman vs. Batman goes, everyone with any
>real intelligence knows that Batman wouldn't last a
>microsecond. Superman would crush him easier than he
>crushed the Hulk, Darkseid, He-Man, Doomsday,
>Spiderman, need I continue.
Let's review your list of people that Superman "supposedly" decimated.
The Hulk: Few know that, at the time of the crossover, the Hulk was unknowingly being injected with Hooficlor, a potent reagent that was causing him to lose strength. So, this "decisive" victory for Superman was really the result of drugs.
Darkseid: Darkseid doesn't exist! He's nothing but the figment of the imagination of Dr. Ulross Sklǿr, a Danish astrophysicist who went insane. Locked in his cell deep within the dungeons of the Northern European Institute for Severe Mental Disorders (NEISMED), he spends his days inventing crazy things and scribbling nonsensical equations. Eventually he took on the alter ego of Darkseid. His "battle" with Superman was imagined, part of an MI-5 experiment with psychoactive drugs. The experiment was a failure and was terminated in 2001.
He-Man: As you no doubt remember, Skeletor was controlling Superman at the time. Skeletor was using an Expitron 9500 telepathic manipulation projector to control Supes. The Expitron also has the habit of stimulating the production of adrenaline within its target, so Superman was far stronger than normal. Plus, He-man had been shot several times with a pistol prior to the fight to make him lose. The artists simply didn't draw the bleeding holes all over his torso.
Spiderman: No, he didn't! Superman talked Spiderman out of fighting and the two ended up teaming up. But what we didn't know is that in the alternate ending (in the "Horrific Destiny" comic, which was never published) Spiderman, for Round 2, had a specially modified Grapniog Pulse Pistol. A single shot from this weapon, even on setting 1.2 (Ultralow), would be capable of knocking Neptune out of its orbit! Of course, had Spidey deployed this fearsome weapon, it would have meant the end of life as we know it, but no doubt Supes would have been toast as well.
So yes, you ignorant fartshack, you NEED to continue. Your so-called victories for Supes are no proof at all!
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