Pulp Non-Fiction Or Something [2of4] -- BTW Backup Roleplay Board

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Date Posted: 22:24:59 08/22/02 Thu
Author: Moondogg
Subject: Pulp Non-Fiction Or Something [2of4]

+++++ The Big Time Jerks, the team of Adam Young and Moondogg, are inside Moondogg's father vehicle. They've got the radio blaring and the windows down on the 2002 Ford something or other. Yes, this Ford has air conditioning� they just have to keep the windows down and the air circulating, because Adam Young vomited on the floor after his little binge of Marcus Chopper's liquor. +++++

+++++ Anyhow, Moondogg is driving the vehicle, when he turns the volume down on the radio [as "When Doves Cry" by Prince has just ended]. ++++++

MOONDOGG: So how come we're heading down to Los Angeles for this show? I really liked just chilling over at Chopper's house.

ADAM YOUNG: I know, but apparently he's a little pissed� I guess everyone kept stealing his stuff. People today�

MOONDOGG: Yeah, there should be more fans at this Los Angeles show anyhow. That will be sort of cool. Who are we facing?

ADAM YOUNG: I don't know.

MOONDOGG: I thought you looked on the booking sheet before we left! What if we're not booked and we traveled all the way to Los Angeles for nothing! I would have just wasted so much cash for gasoline!

ADAM YOUNG: Ahem� your dad would have wasted so much money on gasoline�

MOONDOGG: Whatever�

ADAM YOUNG: And anyway, I DID look at the booking sheet. The fact is that NO ONE knows who they are facing this weekend in Los Angeles. All I know is that we're not wrestling together this weekend.

MOONDOGG: AGAIN!?!? How are we supposed to solidify our dominance in the tag team division when we keep getting put in singles matches?

ADAM YOUNG: Well, I wouldn't be too pissed. It's a #1 Contenders tournament to see who gets the next shot at the BTW World Champion.

MOONDOGG: Who the fuck is our BTW World Champion?

ADAM YOUNG: Valentino? Do you ever pay attention?

MOONDOGG: Oh yeah� didn't that guy lose to Tyler "I'm a loser who wishes I was a Moon" Baze?

ADAM YOUNG: Yep�

MOONDOGG: So this is practically a BTW World Title tournament�.

ADAM YOUNG: Uh huh�

MOONDOGG: Fuckin' sweet! We're going to kick everyone's crotch-licking asses!

ADAM YOUNG: What happens when we meet in the finals?

MOONDOGG: Tough question. We could wrestle a competitive but business-like match to thrill the fans and have them rapidly chanting "BTW! BTW! BTW!"

ADAM YOUNG: Dude, you don't have to yell�

MOONDOGG: Or we could pretend like we're going to wrestle and then one of us lays down for the other to get the crowd pissed off.

ADAM YOUNG: Well, we're the Big Time Jerks remember? We're against Big Time Wrestling� so I say fuck the fans. So I'll definitely be happy to pin you on the canvas. But I'll make sure that the fans know that you weren't actually trying.

MOONDOGG: Yeah right, fuckface! You're lying down for me!

ADAM YOUNG: FUCK YOU!

MOONDOGG: FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!

ADAM YOUNG: YOUR ASS IS GONNA PAY TEN-FOLD!!

+++++ The scene blacks out for a second, as the words "Fifteen Minutes Later�" appear on the screen. +++++

+++++ We're back and we find Adam Young slouched back in the passenger's seat, while Moondogg is leaning forward over the steering wheel while squinting his eyes. +++++

MOONDOGG: Dude� this car is so foggy now.

ADAM YOUNG: Yaw�.

MOONDOGG: Maybe I should roll down the windows�

ADAM YOUNG: Yaw�.

+++++ Moondogg, very carefully, moves his left hand off the steering wheel and quickly rolls down the windows of the car. +++++

MOONDOGG: That's better� I can actually see.

ADAM YOUNG: Yaw�.

MOONDOGG: Want to get something to eat?

ADAM YOUNG: Yaw�

+++++ Moondogg cuts across three lanes of the interstate and barely catches the exit. He then drives down the off-ramp and turns right at the streetlight. Moments later, he pulls into BP [which stands for British Petroleum]. Usually Moondogg and Adam wouldn't support these foreign fuckers, but well� you know� they're sorta� END OF PROMO +++++

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