Re: As In Books - revision -- Unicorn

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Date Posted: 10:32:11 07/21/02 Sun
Author: sp99
Author Host/IP: pool-63.53.146.8.nwrk.grid.net / 63.53.146.8
Subject: Re: As In Books - revision
In reply to: Raphaela 's message, "Re: As In Books" on 01:42:23 07/21/02 Sun

>I am aware the subject goes back hundreds of years - I
>have taught about black slavery amongst other things.
>The issue is probably wider debated today because of
>media and more general awareness of what is going on.
>>However, it is the language - the mix of old and new
>styles, which may work in some poems but I was not
>sure about in this. The sentence style and words like
>'yore' for example. Just my thoughts.
>>I could just say I loved it but it would not be honest
>of me or helpful to you if I did not point out things
>your readers may notice. When we write, we know
>exactly where we are coming from - others may not. We
>may not wish to divulge it all - which is fine.
>Sometimes I won't compromise, other times it is more
>appropriate to do so.

>>Raphaela
I bow to your wisdom and honestly and have done a
revison that I hope you find less stilted?;-p If not,
well I'll just have to try again...*grin*. Thanks Raphaela!

AS IN BOOKS

Mixed race of blood I am not
If not counting the almighty four
Lilies of Britain and Europe,
Creating centuries mixed-up lore.
Despite that, I too have been there
Wondering where I fit in-between pages
As how some live, of in books
Of novel tales of wealthy people's gage.
So I ask within my heart and head
Why oh why is it still so worldwide
That people are very much judged
Or feared when not having birth choice
In their brand of genes?

And why also do some assume
I dislike different as they hate so upshot
Then very much disliking me,
To put me down when I do not?
So many times these pricks have hurt
As a rose's thorn draws blood
That when spilt, being the ironic hue
Of symbol colour of love.

Yet still there are those so smug to think
They are so much better than of those
Without wealth or approved colour.
Feelings that gives me quite a deathly pall
To then turn around to further appall
As they keep their 'gold and silver
In a heady intellectual swirl
Of money papered 'around the world'
Held up by the backs of we,
The Atlas misunderstood.

I will never say all rich is bad
Since knowing that is certainly not so
For even within the bad and living beautiful,
Many good hearts can and do breed
Whether the poor wishes to 'believe it or not'
Upon reading a worldwide Ripley's tide
That sometimes I love to ride .. to write.

� SuSanne &*_*&

11.7.02~smb.powell
All rights reserved
RainbowSam11@hotmail.com

Definitions are shown here to show
the context of how I'm using the word.

Definitions of lore:
noun: knowledge gained through
tradition or anecdote

Definitions of upshot:
noun: a phenomenon that follows
and is caused by some previous phenomenon

Inspired by watching
TV talk host Ms. Ananda Lewis
when this subject was among
the many worthy she covers.
http://www.theanandalewisshow.com/

>>>I think you have worked hard at improving your style
>>>and this is becoming evident in the tightening of
>>>lines and imagery. The use of question marks
>involves
>>>your readers forcing them to question their own
>>>opinions on such contemporary issues.
>>>
>>>However, I still find it difficult to see the mixture
>>>of archaic language and style mixed with
>contemporary,
>>>particularly when the subject is of a contemporary
>>>nature, and this has this has the effect of giving a
>>>slightly stilted effect.
>>>
>>>You certainly provide food for thought in the content
>>>and this could certainly inspire many a poem.
>>>Raphaela
>>
>>Would it help to know in regards to this comment
>>of yours: "...particularly when the subject is of a
>>contemporary nature"....that I gently state this was
>>written with the subject in mind being around
>>since the start of civilized humans [?] and much
>>older than just comtemporary? And I do thank you
>>for your words I listen to as wisely as I can! Susanne

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