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| Subject: Addressing someone and being rude or obnoxious are two different things | |
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Author: Butch Huber |
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Date Posted: Mon, Sep 07 2009, 8:44:37 In reply to: Lori 's message, "I think that is the issue" on Mon, Sep 07 2009, 0:29:05 Lori, I have no problem in walking up to a bunch of people playing basketball because I have respect for them and I mean them no harm. I wouldn't be walking up with an attitude. Has anyone actually tried to "communicate" with these young people? Are you sure, without any doubt, that they are not "guests" of a resident of this neighborhood? If they are guests of a resident and they are causing problems, has anyone addressed the parent of the resident? If my children were causing such a problem in this neighborhood I would want to know about it and I would put an end to it. I have also suspected what you have indicated here, Lori. I have suspected that nobody has actually gone down to talk, with respect, to the people who some assert are causing the problems. My suspicions have been that a few really aggravated people, perhaps some who just are a little too persnickety, have tried to address this crowd and have shown contempt and disrespect to them. When someone treats a group of children like that they are lucky not to get their butts kicked. Perhaps, the solution is for those men of this neighborhood who like to play basketball to go play basketball with them, make friends with them, show them some respect. In doing so they will get to know them, get to know their names, develop a relationship with them, discover who they are and what they are about, they will figure out who they associate with and they may even be able to help those kids stay out of bad situations or even jail. If the kids down there are up to no good it will become known. However, if they are just trying to have some fun playing basketball, and if they are invited to play in the neighborhood by a resident, let them alone. If they are just trying to have some fun playing basketball, and they haven't been invited by a resident, invite them. This whole matter seems to be driven by a handful of people getting themselves all twisted up in knots. I have met some of those types in my life. They think because they live in a neighborhood with a homeowner's association they rule the world. Personally I can't stand people like that. I would be willing to go to the courts to play ball with them, but I am so bad at basketball they wouldn't let me play and I couldn't blame them. I would however be glad to go with any of the basketball players in the neighborhood and get the ball rolling so to speak...(pun intended). Why make enemies when you can make friends? If you treat them with respect, get to know them, show them that you aren't a bunch of mean old fuddy-duddies, then explain to them, respectfully, that there is a right way and a wrong way of going about using our facilities and that the wrong way will lead to consequences, whereas the right way will open the door to them and they will have a place to have fun, they will embrace you. It is more about how you say what you say than it is what you say. A little bit of respect goes a very long way. I am not saying that you and the others who are having problems with the kids are being unkind or that you are wrong in the fact that you want to be able to control who uses the courts and who doesn't. However, if those children are invited guests of someone in this neighborhood and if they are actually following the covenants, they have a right to be here just like you have a right to be here. I do not want to have amenities removed because of a few people who are uptight about something that is a non-issue. Before I would vote to remove the basketball courts I would need to be assured that all appropriate steps and measure have been put in place and that the problem is real and not some issue conjured up in the minds of a few uptight, irrational, prudes. Just because someone is young, just because they are black or white or yellow or brown, just because they have tattoos, just because they have a pierced lip or nose, or just because they have long hair or don't dress like you doesn't make them bad people. Being a bad person makes them a bad person. Until you know if a person is a bad person you should assume they are good. Have you actually tried to communicate with them? Are you sure they are so bad? Is it that you are standing there looking at your watch, tapping your foot, waiting for 10 pm to roll around and then getting yourself in a huff because they have the audacity to continue to play ball that late? Lori, I am not meaning to anger you, I am trying to get you to really do a self-analysis and try to figure out if you are really being offended by these young people because they are bad people or are you being offended because you want to be in control and they are taking that away from you? For anyone out there other than the few that we have heard from who want to have the courts removed, is it really that bad? For the kids who are reading this site who are part of the crowd who are causing this issue, introduce me to your friends. I will come and sit and talk with you and I will try to work something out with you if you invite me. I was once just like you, I know you have few options in the area. Talk to your friends, get them to agree to meet with me, and invite me to meet with you. Let's talk. Maybe we can reach some agreement with the homeowner's association board of directors to get the boards back under mutually respectful terms and conditions. What could it hurt to talk? [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| Subject | Author | Date |
| Read through above | Lori | Mon, Sep 07 2009, 10:06:48 |
| Reply to Butch | John | Mon, Sep 07 2009, 11:04:18 |
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