Author:
Pat
[ Edit | View ]
|
Date Posted: 21:43:07 07/02/07 Mon
Jennifer,
I am so sorry for what you are going through. Your husband didn't take into account your heart. Your heart knew that abortion is not a good thing. I wish there some way we could help you make him understand what terrible thing it was for you.
My experience tells me that you won't get over it until you go through some steps, the first of which is acknowledging that having an abortion was a mistake. A lot of women think they have to have one, and they get pressure from the people who matter most. A man's responsibility is to protect his wife and children. There are ways to help a family in a position such as you are in. I am suspecting you were unaware of the resources available to you. Obviously, what your husband did make it impossible for you to look for alternatives. It is important to accept only the part of the blame that truly belongs to you. The primary blame belongs to your husband. At the very least, he needs to repent and apologize.
When a woman becomes pregnant, she has nine months to prepare for the birth of her child. That time is so that we can deal with situations that confront us. Not having a job is very worrisome, but we have been there and done that many times, so I know what it feels like. One time, we had no income for nine months, and another time, we had no income for eight months. Other times, we had no income for various lengths of time, a few weeks or a few months. It was truly scary. We had seven children to care for. In spite of the problems, nobody ever went hungry, and we never asked anyone to leave. And yes, we went into debt, and it was a problem. But in the end, everything turned out all right. Your husband never gave you that chance.
Obviously, you will have to experience reconciliation with him, and you will need to heal emotionally. Before that is possible, HE needs to be willing to admit the grave wrong he inflicted on you. You both need to admit that there were other answers. Once you have both done that, then healing will be possible.
Right now, your spirit is at war with your mind. That's why you can't stop crying, and why you are saying it had to be done.
If there is any way you can get him to sit down and talk to you about how this has hurt you, it is vitally important. He MUST be willing to admit how badly he hurt you, for you to be reconciled. He won't understand it. Pregnancy isn't real to most men until much later in pregnancy, so he doesn't realize what an impact it had on you physically and emotionally, and he doesn't realize how your body and heart are designed to protect your baby. He needs to understand this. Keep insisting you need to talk about it. Don't just bottle it up. Do everything you can to make him understand. Obviously, you can't scream and cry when you are out in public, but when you come home, tell your husband what happened, and how you felt. Let him know you need for him to reach out and comfort you. You will have to decide what he can do to do that. I don't know what it will take, but your marriage is at stake.
I urge you to find a local crisis pregnancy agency. They have programs for women who have experienced abortion, and who need to heal. Most of them are run by other women who have experienced abortion, so they know what you are going through. Their services are almost always free. Here is a link to this kind of help:
www.pregnancycenters.org
Good luck with this. Come back any time to talk. We will pray for you.
Hugs,
Pat
|
Feedback: 