| Subject: Global Mutuality? |
Author:
Dave D
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Date Posted: 09:20:02 09/13/01 Thu
Hi everyone, Dave DePula here.
First, I hope everyone is OK in light of what happened in New York and the other places!
Second, I live less than 55 miles from NYC and I can feel all those people's pain and suffering and I am feeling really bad. I don't know what to do or how to be. I am trying to hold everyone as they are but I am Fucking Angry. When I go into a gas station with a Middle Eastern owner or attendant I have two conflicting emotions come to the surface. When I see their darked skinned face I want to beat the FUCKING SHIT out of them and at the same time,I feel sorry for them because I know that it was not they who did those violent acts of a few days ago. They are probably afraid of our reaction to what has happened. So, as a human animal and a spiritual being how else can I feel. Is it not natural to feel as I do. It does not change the fact that it is hard to deal with.
So how do we, as participants in this waking down process, relate to non-wakingdownites? And, more importantly how do they relate to us in MUTUALITY? I am finding it near immpossible. To conceive of Global Mutuality is a great dream but as I see it, we are so far away it seems like light years.
I can not even find, outside of our community, anyone who can even be in the same space as me, unless I act as they. Meaning, not speaking and being my truth. Hell, I am looking for a life partner and I can't even get a date with anyone who is close to where and who I am. The worst part is, I am not awakened YET. My being has come alive but not awake. When I speak and be my truth others run for the hills. Ted Strauss has written about this in one of his essays. I am currently living this nightmare. When I don't speak and be my truth I feel actual physical and heart felt pain for constricting myself. So, what is the answer? Do you think any of our nations leaders would even comprehend what is happend to us? I don't think so. So if there are so few of us and so many of them. How do we break it down to the smallest and first few steps. How do we live in a world where people do as they did on Tuesday?
How do you introduce others to this process who are not close to being ready for it.
HOW IN THE HELL CAN THERE BE GLOBAL MUTUALITY, WHEN EVERYONE AROUND US IS SO AFRAID OF SEEING THEIR OWN TRUTH THERE IS NO WAY THEY CAN SEE ANYONE ELSES.
Lastly, thanks to anyone who is reading this. It was very theraputic writing it. It is not meant to depress anyone or to not see your truth or vision just to express my current reality, which is painful.
Blessings,
Dave
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