| Subject: Re: Some thoughts |
Author:
Kyla
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Date Posted: 06:58:27 08/04/01 Sat
In reply to:
Cassie
's message, "Some thoughts" on 00:15:40 08/04/01 Sat
Cassie, you are so good at walking through this kind of thing with me, and probably with others too, like your friend you mentioned. i just want to give you that acknowledgement.
Well, i am no longer trying to figure this one out, haven't been for a while, it's that extreme, Rot-like tiredness that prevents me, or my mind, from doing so. (Maybe this IS an aspect of the Rot, even though it is not specifically in relation to seeking to escape the core wound, which is the thing we Rot out of....i will have to check this out.) Anyway, so trying to figure is not an issue here. What may be an issue is wanting and being willing to perceive this differently. i think that is the GS at work. It is a battle to the death between whatever in me is holding on to this view for dear life, and the intensity of my need to get out of this locked chamber, (and that, the room, is a very apt description indeed.) i believe i have yet to drop fully into the territory of this GS. i am probably still holding myself out of it in fear of what's there. But this is not willed, and i do feel that, as i said to Ellen, bringing this to the attention of everyone here may bring some catalytic juice to the situation, and that holding it in my awareness as a "question/container to be filled" (which is my version of holding it in silence and the Mystery) is really the only approach available.
As for Holly, getting her assistance in this would be great, but I can't afford to pay for help. So, i will just keep that in mind in case an opportunity presents itself.
thanks, my friends, for considering this with me.
love*K
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