| Subject: Re: If I stop |
Author:
John Parker
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Date Posted: 13:46:15 05/26/01 Sat
In reply to:
Cassie
's message, "Re: If I stop" on 14:48:21 05/25/01 Fri
If we are truly no longer running, then we are absolutely "here", being the whole enchilada - which includes ALL that is ecstatic, orgasmic, nirvanic, samsaric, amazingly fucked up, and all that's in-between plus that which transcends all of it - as is. When we are truly not going anywhere to get anything we think or feel we "need" in any direction; up, down, sideways, or diagonally, and have absolutely stopped applying or clinging to any preconceived notions, spiritual strategies, philosophies, assumptions, conceptualizations and/or presumptions of what pain/sorrow, nirvana/ecstacy, i.e. ploys of giving us something that we don't already have or ARE, then everything that's seen will arise from the naked Truth - alone - as is.
My experience is that I cannot know and don't know anything about any of it in absolute terms. I know that I don't know, and at some fundamental level I don't care that I don't know. And at the same time something tells me I need to get up and piss in the morning. If we are truly "down" (which to me means excluding absolutely nothing and allowing everything to be as is - which is not some airy philosophical quip), then anything that arises is what is, as is. Period. If I feel shitty about something, well there it is. If I feel love and happiness, well there it is. Thoughts and feelings are perfectly fine. I just can't trust them to give me the naked truth of what is. They simply act as various colored filters of what is. Of course we can feel the deep and horrible pain and fucked-upness of our lives and that of the world. But "feeling" it and "Being" with it are two different things. If we emotionally and psychologically identify with the perspective of fucked-upness and become it per se, then everything will be really fucked up and it hurts and feels like hell! No doubt. And in the midst of all of this fucked-upness, some people experience a horrific shitty life. Others see it as an opportunity for deep abiding freedom to arise from Being. Others experience it as a complicated mix, and some experience nothing at all. No matter what arises, it's simply being what it is, as is. The whole enchilada which excludes nothing is not going to look any particular way in which we can possibly conceive of it. Ironically being absolutely down is being absolutely up. Being absolutely up is being absolutely down. The key term is "absolutely" completely, unequivocally, without exception, always, forever. Is it true that there is no difference between up and down - unless we conceive it so? Go figure.
What matters to me is being HERE, landed as I AM, no matter what it feels like, looks like, appears like or doesn't appear like. If you have truly and absolutely stopped running and have died to HERE, which means that you have totally landed HERE, NOW, then share with me what that is for you. If you can't, then share what that is for you also, so I can hold you there. I deeply feel your heaviness and your pain. I totally hold you wherever you think or feel you need to be, and love you there so that I AM or Being can inhabit you wherever you see yourself to be. And I also have to speak the rest of the truth of my own sense of you, which is that I have to be with the rest of you that does not appear heavy, not in pain, and not fucked up, and to validate to you that the lightness, love and softness of Being is also just as present as YOU. And what's also always, already present is that which transcends both heaviness and non-heaviness, which is the seamless glue of Being. The naked Truth or Beingness always holds you perfectly where you are - no matter what happens, has happened or will happen.
May I humbly and respectly suggest that if there is one neutrino of self-pity that arises, absolutely be with it, no matter what happens as a result of being so. If there is one bozon of pain-energy that wants to feed the pain-body (which loves to feed itself pain-energy so it can continue to justify its own manifested pain-body existence) be with it completely, no matter what, and see what happens. If you feel yourself rejecting or avoiding ANYTHING, high, low, or transcendental (especially the high and the transcendental since there's so much focus on down work in this teaching, which is not to deny its absolutely critical importance and "means", but it's not to deny the efficacy of other essential constituents either), it's the gift of Being knocking at your door. Being knocks high, Being knocks low. Being is constantly knocking as everything, everywhere because it is THAT.
How will you speak when you are absolutely being everything as it arises, as is, the highest of the high, the lowest of the low, and the transcendental ALL included? If you are being ALL of what YOU ARE, can you whisper in our ears what that is for you? Or shout it out if you wish. I want to hear from ALL of you.
I bow down to the Divinity that YOU ARE.
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