Re: Abstinence becomes inspiring -- A White Hot Forum

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Subject: Re: Abstinence becomes inspiring

Author:
Kyla

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Date Posted: 05:18:12 07/04/01 Wed
In reply to: Cassie 's message, "Abstinence becomes inspiring" on 01:50:56 07/04/01 Wed

When I quit smoking I got very clear that cigarettes never really did for me what I believed they did; that the nature of an addiction was that a false need had been created. That although I felt having a cigarette would relieve my pain, it was really only releaving the pain of WANTING A CIGARETTE! So , a crazy loop.

None of that clarity did me any good when I went out one midnight to the allnight junkfood store and bought myself, dammit, a pack of smokes! I felt so good and free to be bad!

I honor your inspiration. I did read Ted's essays, and I love where he goes with this. I guess I feel that Wholeness is gonna get me whether I want it too or not, and meanwhile, or during, I sometimes embrace 'whatever gets me through the night!' I do know there is more to this for me....a new investigation of an OLD subject. and sometimes abstinence does inspire me....or at least feel like what I want to do. never lasts for more than a few days, then I feel, gee, some of that (whatever addictive thing) would be enjoyable. I may stop there next time and see what else is there!

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