| Subject: Tea ceremony |
Author:
Chris
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Date Posted: 07:21:51 03/24/01 Sat
In reply to:
Cassie
's message, "Hey!" on 21:46:18 03/23/01 Fri
It's true enough for me, that's for sure: yes, being seen and heard and felt exactly as I am by others is what works the magic I need most. As a broken soul, I found I need to be seen where I feel I have no self. That's very different from wanting to be loved: I don't want to be loved, I want to be seen. Seen and nothing more.
My conviction is that yes, our unique medicine gift to the world stems from integrating our particular wounds. Becoming conscious of my soul wounds, primal insanity, and finding my bottom and eventually coming to rest there - that is the great, heroic, world-transforming work. Integrating the deep pain of broken zones thoroughly makes you a template for others.
As for your enquiry about being everyone that ever lived, if I am capable of viewing the stapler on my desk as my long-lost brother, I don't see why the whole world is not available for a similar affiliation.
Hot tea it is, today. Green?
Also, my therapy suggestion is a sincere recommendation from someone who finds it essential for this total integrative work. Such is my need for exhaustive listening, recognition and integration at the pit of my broken soul. I can be deeply held by an adept or by you, but the magic of formal one-on-one therapy for me is that I am persuing a sustained, focused enquiry about my residual wounding and how I interpret myself in uncompassionate ways in the present as a result. This is very detailed, honed work. We can't do that here to my satisfaction, though we can speak and listen to each other at a great depth, thank goodness. Still, what I experience is that I template upon my therapist's objective clarity, and that, combined with my own process of recognition act to unravel my ball of yarn right inside the brokenness, the self-hatred, the patterns of negation I automatically enact. It makes a BIG difference in my total experience of myself. Call it sub-contracted mutuality.... I guess just need to rip the lid off the stigma of therapy that I have and speak about it here, right alongside everything else. Obviously this is one of the ways I need to be seen...
Chris
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